Limerick, The Place

Drizzle transverses in grey cloud city

Sharp breaths down sheltered alley

Should I walk or take heed and turn

 

River flows strong in sea bird city

Drowning calls as they swarm and shrill

Auld Lang Syne echoes a piano hall

 

Give a flower to a girl, so pretty

Embracing the winters call effortlessly

She tells a tale of geniality, honestly

 

Try to walk to the beat of the music ditty

Drifting through the corridors

I sold my soul to a woman of integrity

 

And she gave me another pint of stout

 

Reviews

[Bethany Woody]

Okay you reviewed mine, so I had to find yours and do the same. You make the city sounds so wonderful. I wish I could go and sit in a little pub with a drink and just watch the people as they go about their day. Thats what it sounds like you are doing in the piece just watching the people and the city.

[Celtic Cat]

I love it. I didn't feel sad and lonely at the end, a barmaid can be a very good friend, just ask spurned families whose daddy's gave all to the barmaid and none to the kids. Well, a good listener is worth all. I liked this stroll entirely, having had a pint and sold my soul before that doesn't bring me down. Besides, you've got a happy face in your tag line, so I don't think this is sad to you... just a memory of a stroll. Of course, what do I know? ; )

[R J Askew]

You'll hate me for this, and I don't know why it happened, but I started thinking Guns-n-Roses Paradise City as I was half way through the read... once that was in my head i was done... Having said that i really liked the atmospheric touches at the top ... 'grey cloud city...sheltered alley...sea bird city (the best bit for me) ... hmm, and never say no to another pint, as a general principle!

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

A cute and lovely poem with a so sad ending. Wonderful write. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Bubo]

Seems to be a very solemn limerick........beautiful descriptions throughout, perhaps Christmas is a time
of selling your soul when you feel so high in the cold surroundings, trying to seek warmth.........really thought provoking piece!

[BrightEyes]

it seems a carefree stroll, then the ending hits you in the gut with such emptiness and loneliness. a wonderful write, even though sad and haunting. I hope the emotion that prompted this write is a passing thing and not all encompassing. *hugs*

laura :-)

[Angelheaded Hipster]

The stroll while pondering, and giving flowers....such a wonderful image, but I get to the end, and it seems so lonely....
I do hope your holidays arent as lonesome as this write seems to be!