to a hometown that is not necessarily home

it is almost september and anticipation 

rattles in the grass here, 

like a departing train across the tracks. 

school bound childrens' thoughts

heavier than coffins at the local cemetery. 

when i leave i'll think of their dewy faces

as they dig out treasures and replace them

with frayed ribbons and plastic sporks

and i hope their hands will never grow hard

and tired of apologizing, like mine,

white from scrubbing away the past

palms blanched and peeling with sorries. 

here, skin is a myth. 

we are in debt to the bark 

of newly planted trees. 

when i arrived everything seemed to wave hello--

incoming tide, moon leaning in my direction, 

bright pastel skies and marzipan wishes,

an easy welcome. 

now my natural rhythm is atrophy.

the hellos are echoes as my bedroom salutes me

lights itself on fire in a flutter of swan song.

the land waves good bye, too, 

but it is almost september and this town

has a train that only leaves

only leaves. 

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

A beautiful piece that I can completely relate to... I like the way that your mind works, because it has a distinct questioning aspect to it. Even when you aren't asking questions, I feel as though you are exploring questions.

This reminds me a lot of the town that I went to high school in (I moved around alot, so I don't really have "one" hometown)...it was a small place, surrounded by fields and people who were content to remain in that place without ever venturing onto the "train that only leaves". Still, looking back, there is a certain nostalgia to it now; it is a part of me, whether I like it or not.

Great writing!

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much! i'm glad you could relate to this piece. the train that only leaves sort of refers to the fact that once you leave a place like this, you look at things differently. so even when you've come back, you're still away.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it seems once we get away from our hometown for awhile...we seem to lose the sense of what it once was like...things change, people change...we want it exactly like it was...but what we often forget is that it is mostly we who are different.

i really like these two lines..."school bound children's thoughts / heavier than coffins at the local cemetery"

that is fantastic...

really brilliant reflective write.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much; your words mean more to me than i can express

[kublakhan27]

Again you have penned a piece that was instantly accessible to me...I always find things in your poetry that I relate to effortlessly...from a personal standpoint, I recall two elements of my past having read this piece: five years of countless trips back and forth to university, and how much I hated my hometown, not that a campus brought me any comfort of any kind...I don't live far from my hometown now, just another small town fifteen minutes away, but it's good enough for me...the poignancy in your words never fails to find my heartstrings...I'll never know why you don't have more confidence in your writing my friend...your voice is real, tangible, and most of all, poetic.

[Dana Alsamsam]

it means the absolute world to me that you're able to relate so personally to my pieces as i do to yours. this town is just little boxes on a hillside and a bunch of people i'd rather forget. thank you so much for your kind words :)

[kublakhan27]

I know that scene all too well...always a pleasure Dana :)

[K. Louis]

hmm....I think the repeat on the last two lines works very well. I like the childhood reflections and the contrast between the then and now. Also, the bedroom lighting itself in fire line...was awesome! I loved that. Well done Dana!

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much! i admire your work and your kind words mean a lot to me.

[Leona Cieri]

Wow~
This is just so beautifully melancholy; I really enjoyed reading it.
From the fittingly unique word choices to the separation of words to each line; it all created a sweetly poignant piece that touches the reader.
Absolutely lovely poem~

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much for stopping by and giving me a read! i appreciate your kind words.

[B-poet]

Very well written. A profound & indepth look on the ever changing elements that encompass every person's unique personal world to date. Great work Dana. An intriguing read. :)