mécanisme

paper cutouts of our hearts litter

the city sidewalks of each others minds 

developing from the side like a photo print,

returning in alchemistic understanding.

your poetic mind ticks like clockwork.

you stare at the blanched paper before you

and conjure methods to catalog the madness.

in childhood you watched yourself phase

in and out of visibility, and sometimes your limbs

were too tired so they became phantoms.

the extremities of life have dragged you

through ghostly hollows in fear

of consuming too rapidly, speaking too loudly

loving too deeply. 

you spent your afternoons disappearing into the cemetery,

feeling at home among tethered souls and concrete name plates.

the grass grazed right through your flesh and you knew then

that you were closer to the dead than the living. 

time pricks you on the finger. 

awe stricken, you write the constellations 

in crimson liquid. how can a ghost bleed?

slowly you realize that it was not blood

but a paroxysm of brilliant ideas

released in perpetual stream after boundless confinement. 

the moon leans towards you 

and colors you in

as you release your words

to the world. 

kindred souls we are. 

it's a funny place to meet, the graveyard,

but you are the ghost and i the skeleton-

i'm glad we've both found some flesh to embody. 

Author's Note

inspired by my dear friend christian, or "clockwork"
you can read his work here:
http://www.writerscafe.org/James%20Jones

Reviews

[Astro]

This made me think of a man/woman made of glass for some reason, delicate, the embodiment of clarity, but capable of reflecting magical color, fragile in that the fear keeps them from being who they truly wish to be, lest they end up completely shattered, a fragment, a figment, a skeleton more dead than alive. Either way, I loved it, the more I read it the more I enjoyed it. I especially like the lines about childhood. Thought provoking and haunting.

[Dana Alsamsam]

i really love your interpretation of this! when you read you give a whole new dimension to everything- a wonderful trait to have. thank you so much for this kind review :)

[Astro]

You're very welcome, and I see that Clockwork liked this very much as well, so kudos!

[kublakhan27]

I've read this a couple of times and I'm blown away by the feast of images and emotions it serves up...the third stanza just left me in awe...I really related to that bit...wonderful work Dana, one of your best :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much for taking the time to read it more than once! your words mean a lot. i am both happy and morose that you can relate personally to this. thanks again!

[kublakhan27]

You're very welcome my friend :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

You blend a great mixture of tangible/technical terms with beautiful sublime imagery. I am a big fan of Christian, so I can see the influence; his work has grow immensely in the last few months, he's going to be something big. I love the last stanza of this one...the idea of graveyards and "finding flesh to embody"--fantastic image.

The way that you weave your words always fascinates me. You're an out of the box thinker, and it shows in your work. Well done...definitely a fan.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much! you know i admire you so this means a lot to me. christian is most definitely on his way to big things. amazing man.

[Pete Langley]

For me, this sounds like an awakening, a discovery....of self, of self-expression, almost of poetry, Dana. I know you wrote this piece with Christian in mind, but it feels very personal to me, and I think every poet can relate to the moment of discovery. Superb, love. P.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much! i did have a personal connection to it as well and i'm glad you saw that :)

[Archangel Gabriel]

You are a sublime writer Dana. This is so exquisite, so amazingly eloquent. So perfectly made in metaphors!

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much!!

[Clockwork]

I'm totally in awe of this one, in part because it is the most candid and touching thing anyone has every written for me, but in larger part because of your skill with this one. Right after I read this, I was totally speechless, so I'll try to put how I feel about this word into some coherent words.

I really liked how you used the simile about the paper hearts developing like photo prints. That was a brilliant image. You also show off your tremendous command of language with the word choice of alchemistic in that stanza. I've never seen anyone use that word in a poem, but you used it so well.

I adore stanzas 3-5. I'm very fond of the metaphor of the phantom limbs in stanza three. Also, I'm in love with this: life have dragged you/through ghostly hollows in fear/of consuming too rapidly, speaking too loudly/loving too deeply." I really admire how you followed that metaphor with such an emotionally honest and observant line.

I also really love the emotional commentary of the last two lines in stanza four. Those images are clear and haunting...they continue the phantom metaphor extremely well.

Although, the last stanza was my favorite. You weaved the line we talked about earlier into this one in such a powerful way. You bring the skeleton and the phantom metaphor together in an awesome way.

[Dana Alsamsam]

all of the brilliance is inspired by things that you've shared about yourself :) it just felt right to end it with the line that we discussed. i guess occasionally i say cool things in regular conversation haha. really though, you gave me the yarn, i just knitted the blanket with this one. thank you for the inspiration and for your kind review!

[K. Louis]

This was delightful to read. Your images sweep across the page like fine paint...you are honing in on that skill quite gracefully and uniquely. There were bits that jumped out in every stanza here...the inspiration did you well. Well done Dana!

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much! your words always mean a lot to me.

[B-poet]

Very well written, and distinctively profound. One of your best writes to date. Great work. A compelling read. :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

wow thank you so much- your words always mean a lot to me! i hope to get to a few more of your RRs today :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you guys are such unusual and exceptional inspiration for each other...


this last stanza gave me chills...and reminded me so much of dickinson...the dead meet...finding flesh to embody...finding words to give them what seems at least, like life.
over time, over ticks of the clock...our words live their lives...and at expiration...

we look for some sort of ressurection to bring them back like lazarus

brilliant writing here...i just am constantly in awe of how both you and christian write...

makes my pen curl up with envy.

jacob

[Dana Alsamsam]

it is unusual, but we seem to understand each other really really well...don't let your pen curl up! you are so brilliant! comparing anything of my work to that of dickinson is an incredibly kind and lofty compliment. thank you so much jacob! your words mean a lot.