amaranth

just because nobody picks up your call

doesn't mean there isn't someone

on the other end of the line

staring at the phone and wishing

they could shake the loneliness

from their skin, put the bottle of absinthe 

down and pluck up the courage

to pick it up and tell you:

i've been staring at the polaroid of you...

the one where your smile could start or end a war

and your hands look like they hold

the velvet waterfall of the night sky

and i'm wishing i were the stars

you pluck with your fingers to adorn your home.

but no one ever picked up,

and anything with no start must end

because if it didn't end, you know

it would be forever. 

that person is staring into the depths

of the bottle as it turns to a crimson pool 

reflecting their eyes back like jupiter's moons

and stringing them in amaranthine pearl necklaces

to hang around the cold, lackluster hollows

of your heart's chambers 

crinkling with the deathly silence. 

forever is for everyone else.

Reviews

[Clockwork]

I really like the opening lines of this one. I felt that way the other night when someone called me at 12:30am. Your descriptions in this one are really crisp and clean I think, especially the bit about the Polaroid and his smile. And wow, the parts about Jupiter's moons and amaranthine pearl necklaces was a real knockout.

Your last line in this one is so emotionally charged. A real sense of a bitter passing lingers there, I think. Thank you for sharing this one with me.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much! i always look forward to hearing your thoughts and insights :)

[Clockwork]

You're welcome. I hope things are going well for you.

[B-poet]

Profoundly emphatic and very well written. An intriguing write & read. Great work. :)

[Richard]

because if it didn't end, you know, it would be forever ... is that a threat? :)
this was really great Dana

[Dana Alsamsam]

forever does seem to be threatening me... thank you Richard!

[Richard]

why is that? why do you feel like it's threatening? is it like an existential thing? are you in a bad place right now? forever can be a really scary thought yeah ... :S
but it can also be an opportunity

[Dana Alsamsam]

i am a constant heap of existential crisis to be honest. i am just not comfortable with anything being a forever sort of thing...

[Richard]

You strike me as, besides being really talented, sort of at war with things ... if I may say ... and I think maybe really gifted people are :S but nevermind I'm not going to get too personal or whatever .. but I don't know you but I feel like I know you .. does that make sense?

I understand that because I am an existential mess as well :S but it's bizarre because the world right now is so ironic I was thinking earlier for example that before you would respect the quiet reclusive artisty type of person .. and but then they wanted to be away from everyone and on their own ... and now it's like we're unfortunately alone without choice .. and we want the peope around us, at least I do, but it's not satisfying often ...

[Richard]

you can call me Richie :) which Richard is technically my name ... but I've always gone by Richie ..it's funny it's like i'm not ready to be an adult yet ha

[Dana Alsamsam]

mm i will stay a kid forever, richie. everything is bizarre and that is why we write.

[Richard]

well I hope you stick to that :)

[Astro]

Interesting read, I really enjoyed the bit about "the velvet waterfall of the night sky" and the adornment of stars. The last line, seemed a bit strange in its description by using the term, "crinkling" but overall the feeling of the line as it represents this "heart" is not changed. The bit about something having no start, yet having to be ended lest it go on "forever" seemed a bit odd, but the reader is carried on by your beautiful lines that describe images rife with emotional attachment. Pleasant and thought provoking read.

[Tomahawk Joe]

soft tone flawless flow good work

[Pete Langley]

I may be way off the mark here.....this feels to me as if, after having met briefly and been given a number which never produced an answer, you have woven a wonderful fantasy around a smile that could "start or end a war". Thankfully, your last line is very accepting and philosophical! P.

[Dana Alsamsam]

poetry has infinite meanings and i am always glad to hear your interpretation! anything that you glean from my words is on the mark :) thank you so much for reading!

[kublakhan27]

Your smile could start or end a war...I wonder if that's how people interpret me in the flesh :P What a startlingly emotional piece, soulful, heartfelt...the last line hits home as well, as do so many other lines...what can I say, I just felt this one...great work Dana :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much for your always kind words! :)

[kublakhan27]

Always a pleasure :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

A beautiful idea here... The opening lines really touched on things with a braod stroke, and then you brought it back down to the personal level with "I've been staring at the polaroid of you..." --very impressive. I've often wondered when I either ignore a call, or call someone and they don't pick up, if there is a reason...if perhaps they truly want to speak, but just can't.

forever is for everyone else. -- such a strong line...great ending to a great piece.

Very well written in terms of flow and imagery. Never a stumbling point along the way; enjoyed the entire thing.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much! i always look forward to hearing your thoughts and interpretations on my pieces. so many variations of this poem could be written with different reasons that the phone wasn't answered. thanks again for reading and your review :)

[Ohhhwillow]

You begin this in a casual fashion, almost in the style of a diary entry, and then surprise and wow us all with imagery as loneliness coating us like a dirty cast, ready to be shed.. Informality is something I am very poor at, but it works for you so well! You have a great flow here, and certainly a fantastic imagination as line such as "the velvet waterfall of the night sky" show us all - so rich, and laden in romanticism. The only thing I would say here is be careful with love poetry, it's all to easy to become cliche with Polaroid pictures and pretty eyes. I think you have done incredibly well here Dana, I am definitely a fan of yours!

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much for your insightful review! casual has always been easiest for me :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

someone who has gone to the bottle after getting heartbroken...will stare at the phone, take another swig, and say "no way, not going there again"

and how things would change if only...

been there and done that...so beautifully written, as is usual for you...

two spots to check though.."of your heart's chambers" and in middle stanza..."im wishing i were the stars"

but wow..."anything with no start must end" ah yes...

ending before it could be starting...

jacob

[Dana Alsamsam]

great suggestions- thank you! and as always your words mean a lot to me :)