Employee #5430

my dad owns a company and i went to work with him yesterday morning... my observations and slight disgust resulted in this.

tick tock. 

white noise. 

flourescents highlight

a raw menagerie

of linoleum

echoes back empty

ad nauseum 

ad infinitum

white noise. 

black coffee. 

stuffy and broken

pinstriped ties

wrap nooses around necks

courage never

strong enough 

to just

pull. 

collected in cubicle

boxes. they're all the same

boxes. 

twisting

turning

waiting to expire

maybe finding you 

when you're decayed

and reeking

of calendar counting

broken dreams 

and plastic. 

thick rimmed glasses

magnify

amplify

keystrokes 

on keyboards

letters and words

but they're all 

just meaningless

markings

coming and going

down empty white hallways

and mahogany desks

like crystalline 

diamond dust

returning back 

to spark a match

against the ticking 

clocks. 

ticking

(always ticking) why

are we wasting our time

writing dreams

and burning them down

all that's left is

white noise. 

coffee makers

percolating shards of glass

drinking them down

bleeding onto white

linoleum. you're living

the corporate dream. 

blank stare. 

white noise. 

tick tock. 

Author's Note

i read this at an open mic and got lots of snaps so it could be considered spoken word because the words sort of swirl together and speed up. with that said, i still tried to use line breaks in effective ways.

Reviews

[Clockwork]

So I read this out to see what it would sound like when spoken. Some spoken word pieces I have seen here don't really work in that format. They don't have the rhythm or the attitude to pull it off...you do though, in what I think is a big way. I don't see too many breaks in the flow. In fact, I especially like the places you abbreviate your lines. Spots like: "ad nauseum/ad infinitum/white noise./black coffee." Those lines really give us the abbreviated and short sited feel of that corporate office.

Also, the lines about those ties as nooses...those are probably my favorite in this piece, especially when you add how you broke up the lines until you got to the word "pull." For me, that was the icing on the cake.

And the corporate mantra:

blank stare.
white noise.
tick tock.

That was really accurate of a work place. I also liked the repetition of white noise. Well done :-)

[Dana Alsamsam]

it's an honor to know my words filled up a room somewhere else far away from here in a different voice. thank you for taking the time to do that and see how it sounded!

i really like line breaks if you couldn't already tell haha :) thank you so much for your in depth and incredibly kind review!

[Clockwork]

You're always welcome, Dana. This was really captivating :-)

[BL]

This must be good because its depressing me, as its making me think of work and my office, this is a difficult subject but you have broached it well.

[Pete Langley]

Yes , Dana.......it must have been a revelation to a bright wandering mind like yours to witness the way other bright minds subjugate their wandering in favour of white noise and lino! As a man who has lived with white noise for fifty years( I have tinnitus ), I can confirm one can live with it and still think outside the box! The problem for most people, I guess, is that the box has strong walls and high windows. P.

[Dana Alsamsam]

i know that i will probably end up working in a setting such as this for some portion of my life, but hopefully it will always be in anticipation of achieving something else. it's really good to know that you, as amazing a poet as you are, have dealt with that for a long time! thank you for your ever kind review :)

[Rahul]

coffee makers
percolating shards of glass
drinking them down
bleeding onto white
linoleum. you're living
the corporate dream. ...

Haha, very interesting write, i liked this piece, i think it came from your life and what you saw in life at the time you just dig that here... :)
lovely write "'Dana"", you;ve a great talent i must say...500/500!
keep writing!

[Dana Alsamsam]

wow thank you so much for your very kind review rahul!

[B-poet]

A very uniquely worded & written style that gives your poem a solid platform to shine on. Nice work. An interesting & intriguing read. :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you very much!