third wish

on independence day we saw fireworks on the freeway.

when I was twelve I promised myself

that I would never write of fireworks-

why do we love something that begins in mosaic light,

and ends in smoky darkness? why attach ourselves

to the beauty of something so evanescent? 

I stuck my head out the window and let the sharp breeze

blow amber and amaranth through my hair. 

you looked at me with suddenly renegade eyes

like i was your third wish, your red balloon, 

the last song on your mix tape, your ticket

to an abandon you'd never desired

to a happiness you were too afraid to experience. 

we had no idea what city we were in, but we promised

to come back to that old fashioned hot dog joint. 

driving to nowhere with you 

i realized we could probably go anywhere

together and still see fireworks on the freeway

hidden in each others eyes. 

what twelve year old me didn't know

is that in the smoke there is beauty, the product

of a broken light. I will drink your smoke

into my lungs long after the explosions cease

and still feel the magic of a lit up sky. 

"should we turn around?"

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

no need to turn around...just go forward with this person...i love this..

that feeling of "whatever we are doing, it is fireworks, 4th of july and love"

i feel that with my girlfriend..even if we are taking care of my folks, running errands, doing mundane things rather than exciting stuff...it's us together, and it feels like an explosion of love.

"i will drink your smoke" what a line!

i can attach to your poems...you have a theme, a thread that you always carry through your poems so well..you don't have a lot of loose ends...

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much! even as i ask if we should turn around i think i wanted to keep going. i'd sit in the passenger seat for a week and probably be happy. it means a lot to me that you're able to gather something so strong from my poetry. i wish you and your girlfriend all the best :)

[s y e]

I adore the fireworks, every Guy Fawkes night we have a firework display and my family and I go and see the fireworks, there is always someone famous singing, too. Last year it was McFly, who knows who it will be this year, aha.

If you were thinking these things when you were twelve then you were definitely born to write, Dana - a stunning piece from you!

~ Noodle.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thanks so much, noodle! that sounds like a lot of fun :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I think you're on the right track...don't turn around. :)

I love this...the idea of fireworks, and placing importance on something that is so fleeting. Still, are not the most beautiful things in life the fleeting things? The feelings? The beauty of cut flowers that eventually wilt? The fall leaves that eventually drop to the ground? But the beautiful part is that they will come back again... Very well done...

[Dana Alsamsam]

so many things are most beautiful just before they die. i love to explore that thought (i do in another poem of mine called 'the piano is not firewood') thank you so much for your always thoughtful reviews!

[Richard]

mhmmmm zis is good zis is verry good :)

[kublakhan27]

I think there's something about fireworks that transcends entertainment and speaks to us on a subconscious level...as the tired and overworked adage says, life is short, and nothing lasts forever, and fireworks are the perfect visual accompaniment to that principle...I love how you approached it from a writer's detached (for lack of a better word) point of view...you must have been born to write if you were thinking these things at age twelve ;) I took a sense of nostalgia from this piece, especially with the mixed tape haha Great work Dana :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

when i spoke of my dislike for fireworks my mom thought i was rather crazy...i wasn't really a writer at age twelve, but i the thoughts were ever present. why do we love things that leave? thank you so much for your introspective review!

[kublakhan27]

People say the same thing about me when they learn of my ambivalence towards summer haha You may not have considered yourself a write at that age but clearly you were already seeing the world through a poet's eyes...always a pleasure :)

[Dr. Wood ?]

well this is by far one of the best I have read since joining this site over a year ago....It has everything wrapped up in a fireball.......I drank in my late father's smoke and he is with me forever

[Dana Alsamsam]

wow thank you so much, that is a huge compliment! i'm honored that i could take you back to a person as important as your father with the words i've written. i always appreciate your words :)

[Astro]

"The firework" a truly explosive metaphor for life, beginning with a wail and a swift ascension until at our brightest where we can be seen shining only to peter out emptied of our essence and exist like smoky residue cast upon the wind in the hearts and minds of those who felt our light when we were alive. I like the way you describe 'affection' in this one Dana, quite beautiful and true that there are many kinds and they cause us to act differently and feel differently depending on how they are expressed.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much! i always appreciate your take on things :)

[Astro]

As I do yours. :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

i haven't forgotten about your read requests, by the way! i'm so tired right now i don't think any of my reviewing would be productive, but i'm looking forward to reading your new stuff :)

[Astro]

Thank you for your sleepy considerations just the same.

[Pete Langley]

Dana, this is magnificent poetry, love! ....a thought train laced with fire-bursts of superb metaphor. I adore the second stanza, but the whole poem is a delight. P.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much :)

[B-poet]

I liked how your storytelling style related to your poetic storyline in great detail. Great work. An enjoyable write and read. :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much for your kind review!

[Tomahawk Joe]

beautifully descriptive with a slight feel of repressed desire

[highonwords]

these lines tell me about risk of getting hurt in loving people – love asks us to give something of ourselves, to go the extra mile. love is so beautiful (it feels good), yet, does not promise all the time that we will never feel hurt and other negative emotions. but because the human spirit is strong, we strive to love people. thank you for sharing.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much for your in depth review! there is always uncertainty in love, but sometimes you have to let go. out on the freeway, driving fast with him next to me makes it easy.... and no thank you for reading!