The Piano Is Not Firewood (Yet)

I'll probably still think about you

On calm Sunday nights

Until the piano becomes nothing

But firewood to burn. 

Even then, the flaming vinyl

Will pull strings against my lips

And hammer my teeth into a smile

Through the flames. 

I grin along with the white keys

Because, like me, they know

That the cold got colder, 

And burning is merely a selfless compromise

To pull the music staves

Away from your long brown hair. 

The piano takes its last breath of Chopin
And a tear escapes the corner of my eye

Because just like you and I together, 

The music is most beautiful

Right before it dies. 

I wonder how many candles

You have to light in other people's

Bedrooms before you can return

And light your own without setting it 

On fire. 

I still write poems about you

When I walk along our path, 

but then again, I think I always will. 

Reviews

[Astro]

You are a master of showing how the final chords of a love song finished hold it's last note in a sustained decay that denies a complete muting from the air you breathe. The section about Chopin and quality of love just before it dies is immeasurably beautiful Dana.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much! this is a moment i've always tried to capture and FINALLY my brain found the words for it. i really appreciate your review :)

[Astro]

You're welcome. :)

[sparkle]

very very nice ending dana , so sweet , so suitable , so real , let me say it's the greatest end to a great work .. well done dandoneh :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i have three exes...i still write poems about them, always will...

there was spark, a match lit at one time...and the memories still threaten to set fire to the curtains that with my words i try to close.

i really like "the music is most beautiful/ right before it dies"

reminds me of leaves in autumn...those that are just plain green like most every leaf, become so beautiful (like maples) just before they die.

and it is that way with people, with love...we appreciate it the most just before we lose them.

goodbyes are hard, when the candles are snuffed out, tears are shed.

but somewhere inside..the fire still burns.

[Dana Alsamsam]

the way you just reviewed this is poetry on its own! thank you so much for reading and tapping into my words the way you have. i really do hope that i can look back at these memories and smile soon enough even if the fire is still there. i wish you the best of luck in forgetting to remember and remembering to forget.

again thank you for the kind review!

[ChemicalMadness]

You always surprise me, which I suppose should mean I shouldn't keep being surprised....but I am. There is a delicate flow here that pairs nicely with the pain and even as a contrast to the string pulls and hammered teeth (love). That fourth stanza really is the kicker here, though...how do we get back to ourselves, how do we find the me again?

A few slight suggestions: firewood to burn and burning vinyl...I tripped over the double "burn" a little. And "because just like you and I being together" is a little cumbersome.....maybe drop the "being"? Not sure if you're open to tinkering, but if you are, those are the only two areas I'd look :)

CM

[Dana Alsamsam]

i'm definitely open to it, thank you so much! i find sometimes that i obscure images when my language isn't clear so i will definitely take a look at those two areas. thank you for being so helpful!

[Clockwork]

The four stanza blew me away. It struck that cord that resonates long after the poem is over. Sort of like the hammer of a piano striking the right notes. That image you have there is so deep and mournfully beautiful in a way.

Also, the idea of the piano being firewood and the music that was made with it before that point was awesome. Actually, the title is what drew me to give this one a look. It has quite a unique magnetism.

Some writers write broken-hearted love poems without every really reaching the center of what they feel and what it means. You know, they don't play the right notes. But you did.

[Dana Alsamsam]

i'm honored that you stopped by to give me a read. your words mean so incredibly much to me! the idea of the piano becoming firewood came from a song that was near and dear to me and the person that this piece was written about so interweaving it became so natural. i hate cheesy love poems and i'm so happy that you think i combated the awful cliche. thanks so much again for your read and review!

[Clockwork]

You're welcome. That is an awesome incorporation of the song.

[Dana Alsamsam]

"Firewood" --Regina Spektor (if you're interested)

[Clockwork]

Thank you, I will give it a listen.

[Clockwork]

Its a great song, really strong lyrics. I like how you worked that line in even more now.

[kublakhan27]

Hammer my teeth into a smile...I love that :) You've done a really masterful job of intertwining the various themes here, the music, the fire, the lost or philandering love(?)...it all comes together in an amazing and unique way...the music is most beautiful right before it dies...if only they were crescendos and not fade-outs...lovely work Dana :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

or sometimes it's a huge crescendo and a quick cut off...sometimes those are the most shocking and hard to deal with haha! thank you for your review and for really understanding all of the facets of what i tried to say here. i always appreciate your kind words.

[kublakhan27]

Haha very true my friend...they can certainly be the toughest to take, and toughest to sink in...unlike with many writers, I don't have to strain to dial into what you're saying, it comes naturally...I just seem to sympathize with what you have to say unconditionally :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

i'm definitely becoming a fan of yours as well. yay for bonding writers!

[kublakhan27]

It's a beautiful thing :)

[Exsanguination]

I love this... I play the piano obsessively, worship Chopin, and have run out of candles to light

[Dana Alsamsam]

I want to get the first few lines of the melody of Nocturne in C Sharp tattooed on my back with the style marking "freely." that's how obsessed i am with chopin- glad someone can share in my interest! thank you for reading and for your kind words. wish i could buy you a candle...

[Exsanguination]

Are you referring to no. 20 in C# minor?? oh wowww, that is my personal favorite right next to Nocturne in E minor op 72 no 1... beautiful

[xxlheart]

you so naturally fill your poetry with precision beauty. just so lovely....

[B-poet]

Beautiful imagery and clarified diction. You've brought to life a wonderful message in accordance with the cadences of a rare piano in the making. A fine read & write. Nice work. :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much for your reading and for tapping into my words the way that you have!

[Emerald Seas]

"The piano takes its last breath of Chopin
And a tear escapes the corner of my eye
Because just like you and I being together,
The music is most beautiful
Right before it dies."

Wonderful stanza - This reminds me of...life. You hit a note from a time I don't forget... Excellent poem, and thank you for taking me back to my memory.

[Dana Alsamsam]

that's one of the greatest complements that anyone could give- that my words brought you back to a memory of your own. thank you so much for reading and for your kind words!

[Emerald Seas]

You're welcome, Dana :)