Birds On a Wire

there's this boy...

You smell like broken glass and laundry in June.

 

I want to gulp any water that tastes

Like the sound of your voice after we’ve kissed.

You wear warm blue eyes like a deep violet bow tie,

Elegant, moonlit orbs that whisper

Secrets into the hair at the nape of my neck.

 

I breathe you in and hope

That you never let anyone trample

The fields of daisies that roar in your raw throat.

Whisper into my mouth the words

That come to you in the witching hour.

 

And yes, my answer is yes, yes, yes.

We can pretend that we’re from the fifties

Wearing evening gowns and tuxedos

And we can slow dance (an excuse to breathe

Closer to your scent) in the parking lot

To Frank Sinatra on vinyl.

 

I hope that you never let anyone

Rip the pages out of the moleskin

That you keep in your back pocket.

I’ll cup the words in my palms, like fireflies

And tuck them into mason jars to keep them alive.

 

Trust me to splatter paint your white carpet,

Tangle your amplifier chords,

Wrinkle your pressed t-shirt and press

My scent into the crevices instead.

And don’t put it in the laundry

With your bed sheets. I fear that as you clean them,

You’ll wash away semblance of me in little bits,

Like birds flying away from a wire.

 

You smell like broken glass and me in August. 

Reviews

[xxlheart]

I have read this twice and knowing your influenced by Poe makes this even more brilliant. it has a soft hint of the master in it. an incredible write! :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

that is the most wonderful compliment you possibly could have given me...thank you so much for taking the time to read and for your kind words!

[Rahul]

last stanza's great and nicely penned. Your imaginary in this piece is great and i loved reading this.

[DCT ponderings]

Wow. Do you ever have a way with words and imagery. Two of my favorites:
Like the sound of your voice after we’ve kissed.
You wear warm blue eyes like a deep violet bow tie,
And
I’ll cup the words in my palms, like fireflies
And tuck them into mason jars to keep them alive.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much for reading and for your kind words!

[Astro]

You have an amazing voice Dana in this piece and like you it danced, stepping and bending into my mind. I cannot fathom, the scent of glass but it's image brings about many thoughts and that along with such descriptive emotions make this a wonderful write.

[Archangel Gabriel]

This is another sublime piece. I love the imagry and was intrigued by the broken glass but sometimes we see words when we think of images or sensations and as writers we try to capture them. It works on several levels, as a visual cue the idea of sharp and distinctive smells but also to the idea that you are sharp in your attention to him and finally that you fear having your heart broken as you are really quite intoxicated.

[Dana Alsamsam]

reviews like these are the number one reason why i love this website so much! not even i knew why i used the image of broken glass other than the fact that it felt right and kept popping into my head...you just shed light on a very plausible reason as to why i used that image. so thank you!

[sparkle]

very sensitive

[Tomahawk Joe]

I like it, eloquently put

[chaotic katie]

lovely imagery! nice flow as well. fantastic job!

[B-poet]

Vivid imagery and distinctive diction that's meant to paint the picture of a lasting impression in the minds of all readers who've been interested to read this compelling piece. Great work. :)

[Pete Langley]

Each love is unique. The senses that spark it vary in their component proportions and how they in turn ignite imagination. You, Dana, have a remarkable sense of smell! I wish I could know how broken glass smells! You have conjured unique images in this piece. Bravo. P.

[Dana Alsamsam]

a poet would usually tell you that there was intense symbolism hidden behind the broken glass scent, but to be honest it just continued to pop into my head when i thought about the way he smelled... thank you so much for your always insightful and amazing reviews and for taking the time to read!