Prokofiev Symphony #5

A story of a musician

He walks from his humble 

Apartment on Tenth Street 

Still recalling a nebulous hint of a melody

That he'd heard in his dream last night. 

The homeless woman asks him 

For change, like he is anyone else. 

No passerby takes a second glance. 

Nobody can feel the lucent music

Pining from beneath his fingertips, 

Begging to be released 

Into the cocoon of Symphony Hall,

Into the mason jars of peoples souls, 

To light their inspired journeys:

The soundtrack of a city night. 

In the Hall he changes

Into black: sleek, sophisticated, 

And we stare at him, mesmerized 

With moons of the city lights

Stuck, quavering, like a reflection

In the water of young eyes.  

We lean into the music, 

Breathe the Russian Symphony in a trance, 

And the musician becomes everything, 

Fills every space between the disks 

In our backs with breaths of beats. 

The concert ends, the moons in our eyes

Fade, invite the city lights to replace

Their reflections as they travel another journey. 

And the musician walks a block away

From the theater, to his humble apartment

On Tenth Street, once again, 

Unrecognizable. Moons of music eclipsed

By ignorance, but the corners

Of his mouth turn up at the 

Melody of the Prokofiev, and the magic

In his conductors baton. He passes 

A homeless woman with a cart, 

And realizes he is just like everyone else. 

Reviews

[Richard]

You know, I read this as a poem which it is and it's the best poem I've read in a long long time, but I read it too as a film and it was a great film and um, can I steal it from you? it's lovely

[Dana Alsamsam]

wow this is so incredibly flattering- thank you! and go ahead and steal it as long as you give me credit :))

[Richard]

You're so very welcome :)
if I had the right tools and if I was more evil than I am I would try ... but it's just so fantastic I wouldn't dare :) I'll just read!

[Pete Langley]

Captivating. The narrative style is riveting, the music derived from the perfect word and phrasing choices. This is insightful and delicious poetry. Thank you, Dana. P.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so incredibly much! i sometimes have trouble doing narrative style writing in poetry, but i went out on a limb and tried something new. I'm so glad you like it!

[Archangel Gabriel]

This is one of the most charming poem I have read on WC. it is descriptive intellegent, sensitive and so very well observed and described.

[Dana Alsamsam]

wow- thank you so incredibly much. that means a lot to me! i appreciate you taking your time to read and leave me these kind words :)

[ChemicalMadness]

I'd like to visit this place you've created for us - and perhaps that's the best compliment I can give. There was much I liked here. Some of your breaks are interesting choices....not criticizing, I just have to run through this a bit more....you certainly look us there.....

CM

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you very much for your insight and kind words! if you read again and have some other thoughts, feel free to let me know.

[LapseOfMind]

Really good job!

[Astro]

This is poetry most wonderful. Dana I absolutely love this. Great job. Personally, and this is just a suggestion and in no way should it effect any pride you should feel over this poem, but I felt the last two lines about the homeless lady were either unnecessary, or could be changed a bit. I feel this way because the imagery and mood of the poem is so beautiful and the theft just seems odd. I realize you have woven into the poem the theme of "everyman/woman" and so I know you may have wanted it to kind of hammer home that idea but I would do it in a way that doesn't take away from the gorgeous imagery that you have penned.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you! this is actually lovely advice because i tend to have issues with closing lines, and i really don't know how to fix it, but i personally was working on exactly that. your reviews are always very insightful, and i definitely agree- as always, thank you!

[Astro]

You are very welcom.

[B-poet]

A fresh take on the "larger than life cliche" when almost every fan needs to be brought down to earth at some point in time. Great talented people are human just like their fans the only difference is that they have more priviledges and perks in life because of their immense profitable talent. Great job shedding light on that. An enjoyable read. :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you for understanding this so well! i actually prefer to think of my favorite musicians or other celebrities as normal people; their imperfections make them even more perfect. your insightful review means a lot to me- thanks again.

[s y e]

This was great. :) I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, thanks for RRing it to me. :D I loved the wording of the write and your title is amazing, it had me intrigued.

"The concert ends, the moons in our eyes
Fade, invite the city lights to replace
Their reflections as they travel another journey. "

I loved these lines, the imagery in these lines alone was vivid. Well done. You made it feel like a movie on my screen.

~ Noodle.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you so much for this kind review! the image of the moons light on the water is one of my favorites in the world so i used it with a bit of a twist.

[s y e]

It's great! :)

My pleasure. x

[Tomahawk Joe]

It's hard to explain but there's almost an element of suspense in this one makes it interesting.

[Dana Alsamsam]

thank you, that's a very interesting observation but when i reread it i completely understand what you mean. thanks for reading!

[sparkle]

nice words , there is a touch of a great writer in it , I like it