My contradiction by Lolita

I am presenting this piece as me but with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have a complicated connection to this mental disorder. Each personality represents me and a specific event in my life.

Assuming I have daddy issues because I call him daddy makes me laugh

I have an unnatural connection with my body apparently

My squishy flesh and brown skin don’t deserved to be loved they say

But I say I burn with the passion to share my body with everyone else

Let anyone love me before I love myself

My skin soft like clay make me melt voluntarily

I could lose an arm and I’d make him beg

Too thick to be elegant, too small to be regal

I call myself a Queen desired by all even though he calls me dirt

I laugh

Dirt?

You mean the dust that covers the whole Earth?

What you are made of?

I smile, I say thank you and am reminded of why I kill

Because I love myself

Because I desire touch and noise

Because I look at myself in the mirror and prick my finger to remind myself I am still human

I need to see the blood flow

These Heavenly features make my head a cloud

Who is Chanel to tell me who I can not have?

Who is Shadow to tell me to temper my desires?

Positive body image is not usually accompany to respect

So I have none for myself

That’s what they say

But my head is strong and high

And I’ll break through all of their walls

Eventually