Careful

Careful the way you look at me,
I might not make it through.
Those hands you have hold mine so well,
I hope you feel it too.

Your laughing is a symphony,
I want to learn every instrument.
Your eyes are like deep blue lagoons,
my drowning in them is imminent.

Like sunlight burning into a cave,
you fill my darkness with light.
Careful the way you look at me,
I might fall in love tonight.




.

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

I think of a moth to flame, but we humans are no different when it comes to things we desire, and especially romance. It was a long time ago, but I recall being drawn in, hoping for utopia but knowing full well that it'd likely be hell. This is very nice writing, Dana.

[Dana Ferguson]

Thank you for your kind words :)

[Philip Muls]

She warns him to be careful but there is a strong desire to fall in love and she is really encouraging him. A clear need to surrender.

Captivating.

[Dana Ferguson]

Thank you :)

[DirectTangent]

I like this. Nicely done. There's a playfulness and an seriousness to it all at once.
I did falter in the second stanza a bit - I wonder if there might be anything to continuing with the use of musical metaphor in the last two lines. to end with something that ties in with "symphony" is challenging, I would think.
Nicely done. You have a appealing writing styles.

[Dana Ferguson]

Thank you, I try my best :)

[alifeacoustic]

Beautifully done, with a light heart and a smile methinks. I like the fact that you feel the need to warn them with the title, or maybe warn yourself what you both might be getting into. But who pays heed of warnings anyway? :)

[Dana Ferguson]

Thank you :) and yes, who listens to those warnings? I like to think it's more of a precaution :)