Cynic - Chapter 1/Lust

lust /ləst/ noun noun: lust 1. very strong sexual desire. "he had never knew his lust for the boy would lead to the child's destruction"

Cynic

Chapter One: Lust

I’ve long since abandoned my birth name. I now go by the title “Cynic,” reasonably given to me based upon my crude perspective of the world. However, is it so wrong? To be cynical is to be skeptical of the world, and those in it. Never trusting in others because people always have some ulterior motive, whether they are conscious of it or not. This is the story of how I came to see the world in its true light.

We are born into this world with purity due to our knowledge of nothing other than survival. I was no different, for I was once untouched by the filthiness of others and their actions. As a child, your ally is ignorance and simplicity. The less you know, the less you come into contact with, the more of your purity you will retain. However, some children are not so blessed to have little contact with the people. Many children, including myself, were nurtured by a more intimate, disgusting, apathetic environment.

The earlier years, my toddler years of life were relatively simple. Wake up, indulge myself with food, learn about things a child should and should not do. Those days were filled with peaceful moments of melancholy. Life was a breeze as it should have been. I was still ignorant and blissful so trust came easy to everyone. Although I was coy around others, that did not hinder my abilities to understand the minds of others. People were always my favorite thing to study, which eventually became my saving grace, however that is for another time.

Around the ripe age of five is when someone picked me from my tree of innocence, as if I was an apple more than ready to be devoured. I remember his heavy, mature scent as it disgusts me to this day. Scorching hot skin pressed against mine, the pain of what one might call a dagger protuding into my body. As a boy, we are taught to be tougher than others, to be stronger. When someone else robs you of that potential power and overpowers you in a taboo fashion you can’t help but feel weak, or even broken.

Something even more tragic is when that overpowering is not just physical, but emotional. The moment another human being robs you of your innocence you become a mere hollowing of what once was and ever will be. Some say people break like glass, but people myself aren't so lucky for glass can be repaired through glass blowing. Once something that was once filled because hollow, it is hard to return it to such a state. Life is tragic, isn’t it? If my life were a story, it’d be A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket. Much like that book, this is only the first installment of this traumatic series. Let us see together how deep we can walk into this forest of mine.