An old storm just passed

There's a huge difference between letting someone in and telling them your life story. I could tell anyone my life story beginning to end, how I was abused as a child and that manifested into such great things like schizophrenia and bipolar and PTSD in my teenage years, and how I still struggle, now finally on meds blinking in amazement at the world around me as if I was a newborn child, starting my life over the right way. The way things should have went.
I've only ever let one person in. He knew what made the static in my head he knew what made me go crazy he knew what possessed me. He screwed me over too. He knew everything about my body mind and spirit so in his own mind he played God. He was God to me. He brought me my medications when I was too sick, laying in bed a crumpled mess of fears and hallucinations. He force fed me through my days of disordered eating, helped me down the stairs when my legs would no longer support me. He knew me inside and out. He knew too much. The power overtook him. He'd come riding through the house on a stream of light and I'd bow to him.
When I started to get better, finally opening my eyes and standing by myself, he was still there to baby me. He got used to the idea that I needed him, absolutely needed him for survival. I started pushing him back and started walking on my own, forming my own ideas and thoughts. Our relationship with eachother turned into a great storm. I was stranded on a boat in the ocean fighting against my god and the elements. I quite literally told him that I did not need him anymore, that I was my own person. I told him the basis of our relationship is sick. And I left. The skies turned from black to grey.
I was a newborn out on the ocean alone, struggling to keep my job and remembering to take care of myself. You were always far away, but you were here. You were my distant shore while I was out to sea on that stormy day. You never left my sight. I wanted so desperately to sail closer, but I stayed far away because I could not let you in. I feared something bad would happen and I would loose yet another person to my madness. But then a light switch flipped on your shore, and I jumped off the boat and swam as fast as I could through my fears, emptying out any last bit of self destructive behavior I had, so I could be pure and clean when I turned up on land. I swam for weeks. Maybe months. But finally I arrived to shore and you were standing there with open arms to greet me. I made it. I finally made it. Now I know what real love is. It isn't selfish, it isn't dependant. It simply just is. My life I left behind is in the past and always will be. You and my health are my present and future, my everything. The stars that shine onto my world are all because of you.