Out of the Fog

Coming out of the fog wide-eyed I sit and stare at the world around me in wonder. For so long I have been deep underwater, drowning in my own sickness. That world is no more. The new one is full of wonder and opportunity. Less suicide risks and hospital visits. Now I can go about my day like a "normal person". I can't say I'm quite yet normal due to the twitching and occasional episodes that come with being bipolar. But I'm getting there.

I've wasted most of my teenage years in bed, glaring at the world and everyone in it. Afraid to get up and go outside, peering through a slit in the blinds at the outside world. I was a different person back then. My whole aura has changed just from the help of a psychiatrist. One day a few years back I had had enough of the constant everyday struggles and decided shyly to find a doctor to prescribe me some medicine to help with the constant grinding of my mind. It took her and a hospitalization for me to really want to recover from my hurtful ways. The hospital made me realize that there are much crazier people out there and I was not one of them. For once in my life I felt like I had hope. So with an ounce of pep in my step I swallowed three different pills every morning and night - two to calm my severe anxiety and one to even out my moods that were swinging violently, leaving me breathless in the wake. Almost a year later I can say I am somewhat stable. I have done the unthinkable! Finishing school and getting a job seemed like a death wish for me just years ago. Now I open the windows and let in the light and I don't glare at the world anymore. I smile at it and come at my friends with open arms. I realize now that there is hope and I am worth it. I've come out of the fog and I have never been more thankful for every opportunity my life has given me. There is a life after mental illness, and I am living proof of it.