A Father's Wish

I tried to show what a father expect from his chidren

Miss Mouna lives in a modest and a big family, she is the eldest of four sisters, She is in her 20s, she is attractive, she has a fair complexion, eyes as golden brown, brown hair too. She dresses and is well spoken. Outside on the sidewalk she  walks elegantly and confidently, everyone who sees her, thinks she is wealthy.

After graduating from the most prestigious university in the biggest city in Morocco - Casablanca , her first aim was to find a job. Mouna is an Economic major, she sent her résumé to so many companies in order to find a position that would enable her to use her knowledge ; but she got no reply.

She has to earn her own spending money. She is sick and tired of asking her father all time for spending money. She is feeling a little blue. It’s frustrating to be  unemployed, after studying for more than 20 years.

Mbarak is Mouna’s father, he is a poor man but he is proud of his wife Malika and his five daughters, he works as carpenter and he works hard to feed six mouths and himself.

Malika is a housewife, she takes care of her husband, her daughters, and cooks, cleans, does the laundry….etc. She manages Mbarak’s house well.

Today, Mouna is excited; She has been offered a job in a call center, Starting next week,  It will be her first time working in a call center. As usual, the quickest way to work  is by working in a call center like the rest of her friends. Speaking well in French is enough to be offered a position there.

Mouna was expecting to work in a big company such as a Bank or in Insurance, like her friend Nora.  However Nora’s father, Mr. Lahlou, is a rich man who works as a manager in a Bank. One call to his friends is enough to employ his dearest Nora.

“ Dad, I have to buy  new jeans and a shirt for my new job.” Mouna said.

“ I’ don’t own a clothes factory, if that answers your question. Your wardrobe is full of clothes.” Mbarak replied.

“Please Dad, you know that appearance is important to be respected in this city. Next month I will have my first paycheck so I won’t ask you for money anymore.” Said Mouna.

“I’m sure your money won’t be enough for your needs. Here’s, ten dollars.”

“It’s not enough Dad, I need at least fifty dollars. Please give me another forty dollars, be nice, you know I’m your favorite.”

As soon as, she sat beside him, she leaned on his shoulders and kissed his head.

“Stop it, don’t do that, take it, another thirty dollars, and not another cent, go away, I am not the Bank of Morocco. “

Later, Mouna  works more than twelve hours a day. She doesn’t sleep as well as before. She even  works on week-end and on religious holidays.

Every night, she comes back home late, she hurries to her bedroom.

Answering calls from customers all days long has weakened her strength so she has become lethargic and spends her time watching TV and eating on her bed.

Soon after starting work, She gets her first paycheck, “Oh, only four hundred dollars? I can’t spend it all on clothes,  this month especially I have to give a third of it to my father. He really deserves more, he works so hard, but having money is not easy for me either”.

“Dad, here is a third of my salary , Its worth more than ten days working at the Call center.” Mouna said.

Mbarak laughed and went on,“ My Dearest , I never expected any money from you. Now, I’m sure it’s your money, Its worth a lot to you, take it and try to save a third of your pay in you’re a new Bank account. I hope that you never have to ask anyone for money ever again. At the moment you are responsible and capable to manage your income well enough and to save your money for a rainy day. You won’t understand my feelings until you have your children of your own. I don’t need anything at all, I’m still strong working as hard as many young men, you are my pretty flower which has started to bloom. I thank God for this gift, I’m proud of you, take care of yourself. If you are successful, I’m successful too, If you are ok, I’m ok too.”

Mouna sees the brightest light from her father’s eyes. It guides her on a straight path, she will not go astray after this advice. She embraces her father’s head tightly and kisses his hands; hands that are rough as rocks. 

“Dad, you have a heart of gold, I can never repay you for everything you have  done for me , you have given me a better life. After realizing how much you gave me, I feel so sad that I can’t show you my appreciation. Your love is so powerful, your love is as deep as ocean . Your love gives me the strength me to continue on my short journey in this life in the best way. Thanks so much Dad.”

©2015 Dakir Abderrahmane

Reviews

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

'She embraces her father’s head tightly and kisses his hands; hands that are rough as rocks.
“Dad, you have a heart of gold"'
Beautiful lines with so much depth.
Lovely ode to the patents who live for us, rather than themselves..

[Kousika]

Parent's love is always great.. Whatever children do they love them .. Great work sir.. I love it..

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank Nene for your reading.I like your comment.

[Nene]

There is nothing more beautiful and precious than a parent's love!!!! they sacrifice their wishes just to fulfil ours...... I loved this story

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank Nene for your reading.I like your comment.

[Susanna F]

Very sweet! It isn't easy for young people starting out in the working world, sometimes they need more help from their parents before they are independent. I appreciate all the help I got from friends and family, especially my parents. They taught me to work hard and be humble, to do any work I can find rather than waiting for a higher-paying job. I'll teach my kids that, too, and I hope they realize I do it out of love. They'll know that when they have kids of their own, like your story says.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank Susanna F for your reading.I like your comment.

[MomzillaNC]

You've portrayed a lovely relationship between father and daughter. Both characters are engaging and I wanted to know more of them.

NOTES: The language use needs improvement. I recommend picking up a copy of THE LITTLE, BROWN HANDBOOK -- it's a grammar textbook. And reading excellently written books from authors such as Georgette Heyer, Peter Mayle, P.G. Wodehouse, and Lois McMaster-Bujold.

For example, I might have written your opening paragraph as follows:
Miss Mouna's has a modest and big family. She's in her twenties and is the eldest of four sisters. As she finishes the final touches of her daily toilette, the reflection gazing back from the mirror is of an attractive, confident young woman. Mouna feels satisfied with her fair complexion and golden brown eyes, framed by neatly arranged, thick brown hair. One last look to assure herself she is dressed tastefully, she turns this way and that before the mirror. She knows the young woman in the mirror is well received and considered well spoken.

The above is only an example. Any edits would have to be in your hands. As I said, your characters and the relationship between father and daughter are engaging. You might consider writing more of the other family members and maybe some of the neighbors into your story. Other characters can be very useful to demonstrate the lovely relationship between father and daughter.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank MomzillaNC for your reading.I like your comment.

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.

[Jeyanthi]

Way to show gentle kindness. I like it. :)

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank Jeyanthi for your reading.I like your comment.

[Rachel Stiber]

This clearly shows the sacrifices and love of a parent for a child. Well done!

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank Rachel Stiber for your reading.I like your comment.

[Vita Rose]

A really brilliant coming of age story. As a parent and child I really relate.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank Vita Rose for your reading.I like your comment.

[Deepika]

An exquisite write! Parents love is inexpressible and we need to be grateful to them forever. In some cases, It's disheartening that kids forget all the sacrifices of their parents when they are independent to live life. I liked Mouna's zeal for life and gratitude towards her dad, and her father's selfless love!

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank Deepika for your reading.I like your comment.

[Roshan Nair]

The love of parents is endless and immortal.. you've done a great job here. I really like your earnest and humble style of writing :) cheers

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank Roshan Nair for your reading.I like your comment.