I was married in my 20s, I was eager to have a baby. I
came from a big family, we were five sisters so I decided early with my husband
Nour to start a family.
Two months later, I was pregnant. I was very careful ,
I would not hurt my baby so I ate healthy food, slept well, smiled, made myself happy by reading jokes in
magazines, breathed deeply fresh air in the park, left a smoky places. I was
proud of my baby. Once I saw him, my eyes lit up. It was love at first sight. I
was head over heels in love with him. I was nuts about him. It was an amazing
time. I’m crazy about him. We called him Rabia.
During one year I breastfed my son Rabai. I didn’t sleep well anymore. I thought
about him every day. I asked myself, “ Did he eat well?, Did he sleep well?,was he Ok?.” When he laughed I laughed too,
when he cried I cried too. When he fell sick I fell sick too.
The years have gone by fast ,Rabia reached the age of six. We registered
him in the best school. I devoted my life to raising him, I drew pictures with
him, played with him, cooked the best food for him, read children’s stories
with him, watched children’s TV program with him, bought clothes and shoes for
him, reminded himto do his homework and
brush his teeth before going to bed at eight o’clock in the evening, guided him
through this life on a good path, gave him advice, gave him a crash courses in
life subjects, told him to keep his chin up, paid him a compliment, made time
for him, worked my tail off to save money for him, prayed for him, made many
sacrifices for him.
The years went past, After, Rabia graduated, he found a job in a short time. He
became smarter, stronger, more handsome , more knowledgeable, more confident. He
got some experience under his belt. I could count on him. I had waited
patiently for this moment.
I told myself, ” I seemed to done my job well, Right now, Rabia is able to
follow the rest of his journey in a safe way. It’s time to take a rest for a
while.”
As soon as he started to work, he fell in love with a girl called Nora. they could
not buy an apartment so we offered for to live with us.
Later, Rabia and Nora immigrated to Canada then they immersed themselves in
work. They worked as heavy as the heavy rain in Canada. Over the years their
heart became as hard as the rocks.
I whispered to myself, “ I’m like a tree in my country, it takes me years to grow
and givefruits before exporting them to
another country, where all things can be bought even my dearest son, Rabia. He
grew inside me for nine months, I owned his
soul and his body. He was in good hands, I took care of him for thirty years, I
was his first friend, I dedicated all my life to making him happy, he had enjoyed
with my delicious home cooked, he had enjoyed my company. I had covered him
with my blanket in the cold. I had done my best.
Right now, I’m useless to him, he left me, stabbed me in the back, left me with
my loneliness. My education was a real flop, my dream was disappeared, I felt
down in the dumps. I live with it. I’m as that tree which lost fruits and its
roots dried, they expected me to die.” The tears fell down my cheeks.
Later, my husband Nour died. I buried with him all my
happy memories. It was no laughing matter. I have nothing to live for. I have
lost the nearest person to me and all loving things in my life. My life is
empty and soulless. I have nothing to live for. I want to die too.
For God’s sake, One hope that I have to achieve before that time is to see my son, my heart, my life, Rabia, beside
me, speak with him, listen his voice, talk together about his childhood, touch
his hands, kiss him on his head, hug him so tightly, as much as I can then I
would the happiest Mother in the world.
A beautiful write indeed. The empathy you have shown with a man's view on what a Mother might feel in these circumstances is remarkable.
I enjoyed this story......sadly this a situation that happens many times in a Mother and Father's life. You wake up one day and the children you loved cared for with your heart and soul have disappeared or are absent from your life due to many circumstances.
Well done....thanks for sending my way.
Kind regards
Helena :)
P.S. Thought I would put this comment where it should have gone the first time!! :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you Helena for reading. I enjoyed your comment.
This is an remarkable piece you could feel the mothers love throw out the whole story. You reminded me of my mother and that's always good in my book, my mother and I were always close and this reminds me of good time. Thank you for this amazing story.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you George Peck very much for reading, I love your comment.
I saw some grammatical errors, but that doesn't matter. This was really beautiful, showing a mother's love, the strength of it, one of the strongest forces on Earth, and how much she cares and cared for her son, even after he is gone. And it shows how they feel when we abandon them, leaving them all alone. I know mothers in the world feel this, but I hope to God that none of them are hurt irreversibly by it even though I know some are) and I pray to God that he will bring those families back together. I liked it. :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you The Resilient One very much for reading, I love your comment.
9 Years Ago
No problem, anytime! I'd love to read anything, just ask me! And lol, I loved your work.
very touching story, you wrote it from a mother's perspective and justified it so well with your words, though I could see some grammatical errors but it's alright I was able to feel the emotional touch in this story.
Keep writing.
Spidey. ...
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you very much for reading, I love your comment.
I liked the idea, and I really loved the idea of the mother being a tree, and her son being her fruit. I really liked that she felt she was dying because her son, her fruit had left the tree, therefore making her die at the roots. I'm not sure if that sentence I just wrote makes sense, but I hope you get the general gist, though I did feel a bit jarred... to me it felt like it was overly repeated and it felt blunt. I didn't really feel any emotion towards the mother... Id imagine you'd want readers to think "that poor mother", but to me.. I didn't feel that way.
To better explain what I mean, is to say that I felt like I was being TOLD the story and not SHOWN.
All in all, this was a really really good idea!
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you Chloe Dow very much for reading, I love a honest comment like yours.
9 Years Ago
You're very welcome! I always try my best to give honest comments, as well as trying to not be TOO h.. read moreYou're very welcome! I always try my best to give honest comments, as well as trying to not be TOO honest... Id want an honest review, so why shouldn't I give you an honest review? :) You're a good writer! Don't let anyone tell you any different
The idea is good here.
The story suffer from a bit of repetition. If cut it, the story will be stronger.
The paragraph describing her pain feels a little melodramatic for the situation. You need to elaborate more of why exactly she feels this way because "hards hard as rocks" leading to "stabbed me in the back" is vague.
Good work.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you very much for reading, I enjoyed with your comment.
I love to share my ideas with you, I love to read your imagination...writing is one way to know all of the best things in the world.
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