Mother's Hope

I tried to add more about what mother"s need.

I was married in my 20s, I was eager to have a baby. I came from a big family, we were five sisters so I decided early with my husband Nour to start a family.

Two months later, I was pregnant. I was very careful , I would not hurt my baby so I ate healthy food, slept well,  smiled, made myself happy by reading jokes in magazines, breathed deeply fresh air in the park, left a smoky places. I was proud of my baby. Once I saw him, my eyes lit up. It was love at first sight. I was head over heels in love with him. I was nuts about him. It was an amazing time. I’m crazy about him. We called him Rabia.

During one year I breastfed my son Rabai. I didn’t sleep well anymore. I thought about him every day. I asked myself, “ Did he eat well?, Did he sleep well?,  was he Ok?.” When he laughed I laughed too, when he cried I cried too. When he fell sick I fell sick too.

The years have gone by fast ,  Rabia reached the age of six. We registered him in the best school. I devoted my life to raising him, I drew pictures with him, played with him, cooked the best food for him, read children’s stories with him, watched children’s TV program with him, bought clothes and shoes for him, reminded him  to do his homework and brush his teeth before going to bed at eight o’clock in the evening, guided him through this life on a good path, gave him advice, gave him a crash courses in life subjects, told him to keep his chin up, paid him a compliment, made time for him, worked my tail off to save money for him, prayed for him, made many sacrifices for him.

The years went past, After, Rabia graduated, he found a job in a short time. He became smarter, stronger, more handsome , more knowledgeable, more confident. He got some experience under his belt. I could count on him. I had waited patiently for this moment.

I told myself, ” I seemed to done my job well, Right now, Rabia is able to follow the rest of his journey in a safe way. It’s time to take a rest for a while.”


As soon as he started to work, he fell in love with a girl called Nora. they could not buy an apartment so we offered for to live with us.

Later, Rabia and Nora immigrated to Canada then they immersed themselves in work. They worked as heavy as the heavy rain in Canada. Over the years their heart became as hard as the rocks.

I whispered to myself, “ I’m like a tree in my country, it takes me years to grow and give  fruits before exporting them to another country, where all things can be bought even my dearest son, Rabia. He grew inside me for nine months,  I owned his soul and his body. He was in good hands, I took care of him for thirty years, I was his first friend, I dedicated all my life to making him happy, he had enjoyed with my delicious home cooked, he had enjoyed my company. I had covered him with my blanket in the  cold. I had done  my best.
Right now, I’m useless to him, he left me, stabbed me in the back, left me with my loneliness. My education was a real flop, my dream was disappeared, I felt down in the dumps. I live with it. I’m as that tree which lost fruits and its roots dried, they expected me to die.” The tears fell down my cheeks.

 

 

Later, my husband Nour died. I buried with him all my happy memories. It was no laughing matter. I have nothing to live for. I have lost the nearest person to me and all loving things in my life. My life is empty and soulless. I have nothing to live for. I want to die too.

For God’s sake, One hope that I have to achieve before that time  is to see my son, my heart, my life, Rabia, beside me, speak with him, listen his voice, talk together about his childhood, touch his hands, kiss him on his head, hug him so tightly, as much as I can then I would the happiest Mother in the world.

©2015 Dakir Abderrahmane

Author's Note

For your comment, I 'll feel well....

Reviews

[Helen Crutchett]

A beautiful write indeed. The empathy you have shown with a man's view on what a Mother might feel in these circumstances is remarkable.

I enjoyed this story......sadly this a situation that happens many times in a Mother and Father's life. You wake up one day and the children you loved cared for with your heart and soul have disappeared or are absent from your life due to many circumstances.

Well done....thanks for sending my way.

Kind regards

Helena :)

P.S. Thought I would put this comment where it should have gone the first time!! :)

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you Helena for reading. I enjoyed your comment.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This was a very heart provoking piece. It was nicely written with a few grammatical errors, but overall still nice. Thank you for the share.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you Angie Diane very much for reading, I enjoyed with your comment.

[Chris]

Writing stories - unlike poetry, requires a full mastery of the language, its idioms and foibles. You need the punctuation and to use articles, even verb tenses matter. Some words may be implied rather than written but if done too often it "highlights" inexperience with writing and thinking in a particular language. I wonder how the above story would be in your native language. Would all the thoughts and nuances you strive to develop and express "feel" differently to your readers?

You do tell the story of of a life. You decided to use a mother's perspective and tried giving it the nuances expected. The sense of "irony" is within your words but the feel of being at ease with the language you use is not there and hence, it feels distracting to me. Having characters of foreign backgrounds "within a piece" and depicting their patterns of speech and thought as an effective dialogue does work BUT it in turn puts the onus upon the author to be spot on with the rest of the story.

You DID get the idea across... I felt I understood the nuances of motherhood and the feeling of being left "alone" in the end, but I really wonder if it was more on my own life-experience than from your story.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you Chris much for reading, I enjoyed with your comment.

[Christine Peters]

I feel somewhat confused by this tale.

First, by the Author’s photo, am I right that it is written by a male?

If so, I feel it should have been more expressed that it came from a third person knowing of such another.

Second, I wondered what the story was really all about and what was its purposeful and expected outcome.

As I read through it, I waited for some happy ending – but alas it never came. It told only about misery and even suicide.

More like a tale to tell whilst privately and professionally lying on a couch.

I found the whole article most depressing and thought that most would reply, “Tut, tut but never mind!” A usual comment when confronted by somebody with all their ills.

If this story is true, then the person involved is in dire need of serious help and as a ‘friend’, you should get them there.

As an article for publication, it is meaningless. Like the song by Lou Read ‘Everybody Hurts’ but who wants to make some kind of entertainment out of it, unless of course there is a happy ending.

I write this with full and honest sincerity.

Christine Peters

[Ardah]

it's a nice storyline but it feels rushed. try to organize main ports better.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you Ardah very much for reading, I like your comment.

[Roshan Nair]

This is a really touching rendition of a mothers emotions, I liked how lucid your words are describing the pain and feelings of abandonment and longing. Great write!

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you Roshan Nair very much for reading, I like your comment.

[Lavender Soya]

The best thing about it is the array of emotions you tried to convey. I felt it. However, it needs a little proofreading. There are minor misspellings. Overall, it was good. The whole story justified its title. It left me a heavy heart and a sad feeling. Given all of these emotions, you made a great piece. :-)

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you Lavender Soya much for reading, I like your comment.

[Lavender Soya]

You're welcome :-)

[Prabha Salimath]

The story is heartwrenching Dakir, it can reach any reader, but all the while reading I felt son's absence not a big issue. It is son's stupidity that he cares no his own mother, then how could he loves his wife. Mother loves her son morr than own life but never taught him to love. Nowadays it become most common issue, I don't know how parents like to stay with him, where their daughter waiting to take care of them ( in some cases ). I wish every son should understand what mother feels and with his ill actions he is teaching his own son a bad lesson.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you Prabha Salimath much for reading, I like your comment.

[Prabha Salimath]

You are welcome.

[Mary Bradley]

It's a heartfelt story ... minor misspelled word in the last sentence, you wrote hung instead of hug :-)
Very cut and dry type of story so far ... sorry if my review is not what you are expecting .

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you Mary Bradley much for reading, I'll check it.

[Mr_M]

This is quite the sad story. I would encourage you to write more in this style. Very real. Keep up the good work!

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you Mr_M very much for reading, I love your compliment.

[C. Lee Battaglia]

Very touching! Had me at tears...
Awesome job dude... If we all would appreciate our mothers a little bit more, then they would smile and be happy also.
I see great potential in it!
Keep up the great work!

C. Lee Battaglia

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you C. Lee Battaglia very much for reading, I appreciate your compliment.

[Fran Marie]

An interesting yet sad tale of a mother's sacrifices made for a son who doesn't seem to appreciate it..nice work

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you Fran Marie very much for reading, I like your comment.