Chapter Fourteen: Party Poopers

I am sure you are thankful for the dollar store, huh Bess? I know you want to make an impression on whatever freaks arrive, but I don't think the Cookie Monster banner is going to do it.  And you might give Natalie a panic attack when she sees the caution tape around the snack table or when you pull out the strobe light.  I am secretly hoping that she is packin' and a few lives end tonight. 

Aw, come on Bess! Aren't I allowed to tease, just a little bit? 

Oo, I heard the doorbell and your guests are arriving! Lemme take a closer look at who we've deemed cool enough to come to your party. (Aside from the freak that is Natalie and her cuddly, stuffed sidekicks)

Natalie isn't so bad.

Your Guests:

             

Benny, slightly cuter than Trevor only sadly for him his IQ is below average and he likes to eat glue.  Usually people grow out of the glue-eating stages after primary but we can't all grow up, now can we?  Thanks to that outrageous toy store for their moronic slogan, brain washing the ignorant! Gah, sometimes I could scream at the ignorance in this world. However, Benny is a nice guy he just as a few special tendencies. 

            

Sissy, or supposedly as that is what everyone calls her. Not really sure if it is the actual name on her birth record or not. Aside from that, she screams every time someone approaches her. So really good thinking on the wave, Bess; however I did see her flinch, she must get beat or she's part unicorn. 

                             

Roy, trailer park trash and smells like a garbage dump.  His mother is a crack head and I know this because she used to buy from your mother before she ran off with her cracked out pimp and started a whole new life of streets; drugs and sexual pleasures of all kinds.  Luckily for Roy, he's highly intelligent but his social skills are a negative. I don't think his smell is what causes him to fear all other humans as much as his possible mental retardation.  No, Bess I don't mean that in a bad way as much as I mean it in a knowledgeable way. Roy would be cute if he cut his hair and bathed once in a while. 

With this group of misfits something incredibly jacked up is bound to happen. This is definitely not going to be a night to be remembered in any good way, I can already tell by all the fidgets and eye twitches. Plus, I see Natalie and she's already over there whispering into Lulu Bears ear, she's plotting. 

Let's play a game Bess, I'm bored out of my friggin' mind.  Yeah, you noticed huh? I am trying hard to clean up my act and you know, not *lowers voice*, cuss so much. Be proud Bess, I'm not all that bad.  Just a little pint up anger and what not inside of me.

Oh wow!

 

I can't believe your dad brought home a keg for your celebration. I am not so sure this night will be so bad after all. Maybe you'll have the sweet sixteen you've always dreamed of only better because people are actually here! Even though they are all standing around like a nervous bunch of dorks with their hands in their pockets.

Now that we have added fun to party, let's go back to my original suggestion, shall we? I have the perfect game too, truth or dare. Oh yeah, let's get this party started! 

Trevor is looking a little antsy over there and have I noticed him eyeballing LuLu Bear? I am getting a bad vibe, so let me do all the question asking. Ask Trevor if he has a thing for the bear because he's whispering in her ear.

Ah, come on Bess! The least you could do is let me have a little fun with everyone instead of forcing me to sit here and watch Roy and Benny race to see which one could eat more dog biscuits than the other in sixty seconds. Bess, you are such a bore! This party, even with the alcohol will still go down in history as...wait, no, it won't be written down in history because it's so awful that it'll become FORGOTTEN. 

   

At least the keg was a big hit, I think it could be what saves this party from becoming a pooper. It, after all is the only thing that could save it because your idea of fun, well, it isn't. I do think Roy is enjoying it best though and it's quite obvious that he's been drinking since the young age of six. I think he's put back his entire six pack in six seconds, if that's even possible?!

       

And of course your dad is enjoying himself, being the alcoholic that he is; however, I did notice him eyeballing Natalie and that sort of ticks me off. Does he really think he can just flirt with your friends and right in front of me? I mean, I know my chances were thin as the sheets of paper that I am, but couldn't he at least been entranced by someone more interesting? 

 

However, I did notice, sadly that the bear is getting more attention than you right now Bess. Maybe it's the alcohol, but Trevor is now laughing with LuLu Bear. I am no longer creeped out as much as I am worried for you because the pair of them look a little too happy. You really should ask your boyfr-, uh, future boyfriend? Well, whatever he is to you, I think you should ask whether or not he's into furry inanimate objects. 

Let's just end the games and go get another drink because you're running low and drinking far too slow. If you continue to hide in the shadows instead of becoming the life of this louzy party, you may lose your shot at keeping Trevor as your... whatever you call him. Because boyfriends, Bess, they don't blush and giggle at other... females? Real or furry. 

"Bessy, my wittle Bess-Bess", oh no your dad is completely wasted and you didn't step your foot out soon enough. Now your dad has his arm around you know and we both know what that means. I think after you punched him in the face he knows better than to try and hurt you, and we both know drunk dad actually likes you. "My burfday girl, sooo happeh for ya." Now he's gonna talk your ear off and be all sentimental and boy does he have the worst timing. Proves he's a pretty awful parent no matter what he does, sad really. So much for him and I ever procreating and giving you that precious little brother you've always wanted. 

Yep, your dad is now hugging you and is he crying? This is definitely going to be awhile and I can see your darting everywhere and your heart is racing. You are worried about Trevor, aren't you? I'd care but honestly I can't stop feeling so jealous over your dad's side glances at Natalie. What is with the men tonight and eyeballing the stuffed animals and the humans attached to them? Well, except Roy and Benny. They keep having uncontrollable laughter and I am pretty sure they were both doing some form of drug together. A little drinking is cool, but when you pull out the powdery white stuff, it's just uncool man. Eh, as long as they don't invite us into the powder room, it's cool. 

      

I feel like you struggle with listening tonight Bess or you're over listening, maybe? I really think drugs aren't going to help much with the paranoia and everything is probably fine and dandy. I don't think Trevor has enough game to even get the attention of LuLu Bear so don't stress. Like we would ever know anyway with your dad attached to your hip. 

Oh man, nice timing Natalie! Thankfully the nut case walked by and took your dad's attention elsewhere because it's been a good minute since I last noticed Trevor and LuLu Bear isn't seated at the table anymore with her friends and we both know Ducky is the only one that Natalie won't ever let go of. I think we should check the bedroom first...