Chapter Nine: Moronic Moron

A Chapter by Daisy Moon

Why is Trevor being eaten by lions, Bess?

You're suspended and grounded for the rest of your life and as far as I know your father has yet to pay the phone bill. I seriously doubt Trevor is ignoring you and he probably is waiting for your return to school before he speaks to you again. Or he is a worthless b*****d and never really cared about you, personally but wanted to use you to seek out his OWN revenge on the dark queen.

The death drawings are inappropriate Bess, you don't know a damn thing and neither do I! I only talk bullshit so maybe you'll take your anger out on me and stop filling your diary full of Trevor hating bologna! After all, the last thing I want inked on me (FOR ETERNITY) is his face a trillion times whether it be the face God gave him or the face once the lions and/or Cyclops is done with him. And even if he is an a*s that used you, it's not like he isn't the first person to do it. Remember when Rebecca pretended to be your friend so that...

Oh right, I'm not supposed to remind you of that story EVER again. And Rebecca is resting peacefully under the old oak tree, yea? If only you could be a little more criminal Bess, we could take over this world. And I could give a damn if all you want is Trevor and not to plot on ways to control the world and it's already programmed robots. Trevor is probably just doing what his micro-chipped brain has told him to do.

See, I'm sure it's the chip and not that he's sleeping with Natalie behind your back. Considering the head gear would get in the way of all the "action", I doubt he'd want to tap that. And those braces, ouch! They've got to hurt. No, Bess please don't draw a picture of this thought. Don't even imagine it... it'll burn holes in your brain. I feel it taking place in my own as I continue to speak. If it doesn't kill you, it'll scar you for life. That's what I've always said.

Although, if he were cheating - or not cheating considering he's only offered to be a person willing to speak to you (I don't even think he's called you his friend, re-read the diary Bess... that was YOUR WORDS) - then Natalie would be the only girl willing or capable of at least faking for his sake. Just be honest Bess, you've got terrible taste in men. Well, you've got good taste - you're right, you just can't have them so you resort to the failures. I'd say had God any mistakes, it would be the three of you. Maybe instead of considering Natalie as competition you and Trevor should gang up with her and start a clan. Only we won't hang any one from trees (unless, of course Candice offers to be a test subject), instead y'all can...

TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Mwhahahahahaha. What? You don't like my evil laughter?

Oh, you aren't still on about that bologna are you Bess?? You're really irritating, you know that? I'm so damn thankful that you go back to school tomorrow because I'm annoyed with you. Greatly annoyed.