Who is Bess?

So you ask me, who is Bess?  Bess is an overly overweight waste of space or so her father would tell you.  Her mother is on the streets, somewhere and they are unsure if she'll ever return.  Bess likes to tell herself that her mom is traveling the world, but she isn't.  She's traveling south on every man she can get her hands on.  Luckily for her mother, she gets paid for it.  To sum it up best, here is a picture of our heroine.

 

         

Okay, I lied.  She's no heroine, she's just a worthless, fat waste of space.  Clearly her father has the brains in the family. Oh, look at the time, we better wake up Bess before her father starts hollering. 

Wake up Bess, you lard a*s!  It's time for school and we can't have you late again. You've already scarred the younger children that were watching your fat rolls hit your face, as you attempted to run after the yellow bus wagon. The one they had to expand the doorway, in order for you to fit through it.

 
No, no don't worry about the hair or the make-up; there is nothing you can do about that.

Fine, fine you can have the red lipstick but honestly, I just don't get your obsession. It isn't like it will be what gets you noticed by boys, considering the girls even avoid you in the hallways.  Man, the teachers even ignore your lard a*s, no matter how high your hair is raised.  Hopefully you don't have to go to the bathroom like yesterday. It's embarrassing enough to be you; we don't need to add a pair of wet britches, do we? 

Oh yeah, that was a bad day.  Then again, every day for you Bess is a bad day.  But don't sweat it.  This may be your day Bess, you never know.  Life can't crap on you forever, or can it?  Heh, who knows? 

Luckily for you, you've got a talent for drawing and can doodle your way to la-la land and forget the burdensome life that was given to you.  You can create a life of your own and make light of things.  Oh hey!  How about you draw a picture of Dr. Ben Hudson kissing you, after he's done his OBGYN obligations on you. And don't remind yourself of the noises he really makes when he notices you sitting in the waiting room, praying he dies before your name is called by nurse what's her face.  Who he probably banged on the table you'll be laying on while he hyper ventilates into a brown paper bag. 

Nice drawing Bess, only I see that you didn't listen to anything I've said.  Or maybe you just listened to the wrong parts of what I've said?  Depressing, really.  Maybe you should think more positive and stop allowing me and my negativity destroy your ability to believe that in this life it is very possible for something good to happen to you Bess.  Yeah, sure your entire life you've had the worst case scenarios happen to you and yeah, you don't have any friends... 

       

Drawing me getting my head cut off wasn't very nice.  I'm just not that good with words Bess, don't be so violent.  How about you draw rainbows and sun rises and leave me out of it?  Please?!

That's more like it.  

Oh no!  Bess, did you see that?  Trevor sat beside you.  Trevor has never sat beside you before.  Side note: He is on the not as gorgeous (or not even close) as Brent but who cares...no one has ever in their entire life ever CHOSEN to sit next to you.  It's usually one of those, "Oh s**t! I can't believe I was late to class and had to wind up next to her" kind of things.  Oh no...it's much more than that.  There are still four or five good seats left and he chose to... 

Wait so now you're suddenly in love with Trevor?  Eh, I get it.  You assume he wants you, don't you?  Has he flipped his long locks and made kissy faces at you?  Oh wait... I meant has he... wait... what DO guys do when they like you?  

-- photo --

Whoa Bess, that's a little graphic...