Rachel

Rachel

A Story by Hebe
"

10 Word Contest

"
I heard the JINGLE long before I knew what was going on
The door banging in the wind, back & forth it swayed dangerously
I also REMEMBER the WARNING like it was yesterday!
stay away from the barn! It was in a dream, I think.  One of those DISTURBING nightmares, that envelope you and you try to escape, but couldn't.  I remember a BAT some crazy dark, spooky DECORATIONS hanging above me and the jingle over & over again!!
I remember she lay HELPLESS on the floor, in a pool of blood.  I tried to save her but it was too late!  Whoever did this to her was a cold bloodied murder.  I honestly don't remember much of that diabolical day, they carried me off screaming hysterically.  I never did return to that barn again!  I couldn't, I just couldn't. 
so here I was standing outside the old broken barn, windows broken, door hanging on one hinge, being torn by the wind.  That jingle I could hear was the bell that hung on top of the door hanging on for dear life!
It wasn't RANDOM I was standing here. it was as if a hand was pushing me FORWARD and I couldn't stop it.  
I slowly stepped through the doorway, a musky smell penetrated my nostrils.  Slowly I moved FORWARD pushing the cobwebs from my face. a beam of light penetrated through a crack of the broken window it was exactly the spot Rachel was murdered.  I walked over step by step, standing over the spot I knelt down ... a scream was building in my throat THREE drops of fresh blood stained the concrete! I felt a flutter on my shoulder, that sent terror up my spine! I turned around suddenly, almost falling... when a hand reach out... her hand to save me!  
She was right there with me!  she was always there, she said she would be, she said we would never be apart ...Never!!

© 2020 Hebe


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Reviews

Hi Hebe, Despite being eerie your story got me relaxed towards the conclusion.
"She was right there with me! she was always there, she said she would be, she said we would never be apart ...Never!! - These words touched me!
Well knit! All the best!!

Posted 2 Years Ago


Creepy! Though this is way late, I just wanted to stop by and thank you for taking part in the contest. 2020 was a 'slap in the face', as you will, for so many thousands around the world. I literally forgot what I was doing here (contest and all). Though there are several grammatical issues, the ten given words are all accounted for and thoughtfully placed. I could relate to the 'real' or 'dream' scenario as I've been there a few times in my own life. One such instance not that long ago and I still question if it was all just a dream. I was sure it was real, but? Maybe it's a form of Deja vu but who knows.

Blessings for a very happy new year!

Posted 3 Years Ago


Hebe

3 Years Ago

Hi Wicahpi, thank you for your reply & happy new year to you too. Hopefully it’s better than the l.. read more

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Added on July 5, 2020
Last Updated on July 23, 2020

Author

Hebe
Hebe

NJ



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