Secret

What's your secret ?

Leave in the dust

the spiked white high heels

melting holes in the sidewalk 

your silk scarf fluttering in the breeze

I take you by the arm

electric friction travels to exotic places

like bumper cars running amuck

your angelic voices reaches my ears

“I know we will be friends for ever” right Ben?”

“of course we will, you shouldn’t even question it”

I don’t usually hang with Judas on the corner

the sunlight infuses her locks with gold

my shades shield my fervor 

this brain ciphering choice words 

while my mouth rebels, 

you will just say anything won’t you

just to be with her

my  heart is appalled 

she leans against the boardwalk railing

her azure eyes sparkling, 

as she stretches her slender arms towards the ocean

leaning back allowing the warm wind to caress her exquisite contours

longingly I devour her pink lipstick lips

how long can I play this charade

I have loved her from the first moment

children playing on the carousel

her pigtails flying in the wind as we went round and round

“I’m going in” she says, the water looks delicious

she throws off her white pumps, and starts running

 undressing as she approaches the water…  she whispers silently to the wind

….One day my love, one day…

I throw my shirt onto the sand and follow her into the waves! 

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'Secret'
Hebe,
The title, the title pic and a reference to Judas? lead to ponder where you were comeing from with this one. Is the gal pregnant? Is it the narrator's. Sorry but I cannot say I really totally figured it out but I must admit your poem interesting.
Blessings,
Kathy

[Hebe]

Hi Kathy, it’s been a long time since I’ve been on this site! Thank you for reminding me 😊 ... the poem is about a guy who’s been in love since a child with this girl and he doesn’t know how to tell her he’s madly in love with her... I use Judas ... because he’s not being honest with her about his feelings. Thank you for your review ... I need to get back into posting again!

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Hebe,
You have brought me a happy moment here. This poem was great but I was just stumped. OK, now it makes sense and that is always lovely. Thanks so much for the explanation. How interesting as it has layers of history.
Blessings and yea you can only enjoy posting your writing and we all are the better for it. Including you.
Kathy

[.]

An interesting piece....a thought provoker that lets the reader make their own assumptions.

Some very nice description and vocabulary throughout. The key word for me being, "Judas". And my interpretation of your write stems from it. Anyone who understands the metaphorical meaning of "Judas" should gain an insight in to the secret of your protagonists.

A very creative piece of writing. Nicely done.

[Hebe]

You got it :) thank you so much for your thoughts!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

totally absorbed by this..and still pondering...

they both have a secret, it is each other...and finally they give into it...at the end, into the waves together...

i have felt this hesitancy before...from me from the significant other...takes awhile to get into the water sometimes.

i like the conversation here...from each side, the inner voice beckoning.

j.

[Hebe]

Thanks Jacob..... i like what you wrote about it takes time to get into the water sometimes :)

[Tashida]

Ok sorry I didn't review sooner.... This poem was quite interesting and a bit different than anything i've ever read. I liked how it was, in a way, sort of laid out like a story. It really made me feel for the guy. Will he ever confess?
Now I kind of want to write a poem like this... the layout i mean.
Loved it!

[Hebe]

I like to try different things from time to time .... i find that we all get into one style of writing and it's hard to get out of it.... thats why this site is great, you get to see many different styles this gives your own writing some diversity. Would love to read it if you do...try, you never know! ...thank you Tashida :)

[Tashida]

You're welcome and i'll be sure to let you know if i do well.... when i do :)

[FreedomFighter]

Great use of pictures, your words definitely had my mind going in different directions, great work

[Hebe]

Thanks sooo much :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the set-up and the thoughts/description in the poetry. I like the different thoughts leading to common ending. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Hebe]

Hi John.... thank you so much, thought i would try something different...your the master at this stuff ! ;)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear friend.

[Pete]

provocative write. so happy, carefree and uplifting. creative layout and dialogue going on. realistic, beautiful, emotional thoughts and words. we all have secrets, just a matter of who we share them with. if the waves could speak! all around great, enjoyable write. (don't know how you're coming up with this stuff but you keep getting better & better).
I love it. :)

[Lydia Shutter]

What a seductive scene you describe here...and yet between the lines, I think there is much more. Nothing like a day at the beach to get the juices flowing. Lydi**

[Hebe]

Thank you so much..... i thought i would change it up a bit...enough doom & gloom:)