Eclipse Of Our Life

Human suffering - can we change things?

In a land that suffers from starvation

where white bones show laying in dry orange dust

vulnerable parched mouths, have scars of atrocities

where disease shrivels the carcass and ones radical opinions need no rendition

it only depicts grim and relentless human suffering

lets crush hope of all description!

We sit and watch in our vulgar prism

while in our garage we stuff our personal possessions

that are of no use to us anymore

seeped in our distorted forms of tradition

and inverted superficial western culture

our stellar image must portray propagandist materialistic wealth and happiness!

but reality depicts we are oceans away from any authenticity

just a slow strangulation in seaweed and plastic containers!

Reviews

[Robert Haigh]

There is much wrong in this unequal world. Governments and big corporations must shoulder most of the blame, but we can all try to do our bit to help. Trouble is, there are so many greedy and uncaring people (and companies) on this planet of ours. Will there ever be real change? Looking at the famine and hardship in Africa alone, it is as if Band Aid (1984 music charity supergroup that raised millions of pounds/dollars) never even happened! Not just sad, but tragic!

[Rimmee]

This poetry is really heart-rending dear. And it is indeed the true fact of life. We are so foreign to the darker side of this world. And I really loved the line 'We sit and watch in our vulgar PRISM' and the way you have expressed the helplessness of those poverty-stricken people.

[Hebe]

Thank you... appreciate your words.

[JessyJacob]

No hurts, but it is ill expressing the attitude of richly poor people.

[emmajoy]

'In a land that suffers from STARVATION ~~ here white bones show ~~ laying in dry ORANGE dust .. '

Such an intense beckoning into your skill. An empathic and intelligent use of those ten words. Brava!, Hebe!

[Hebe]

Thank you Emma....appreciate it :)

[Great Aunt Astri]

Well said. I like your use of capitals

[Hebe]

Thank you for your review

[Tate Viviano]

A great analysis on capatalis greed. It leaves people to starve while we steal their resources. While back home we wast so much food, buy clothe and phones made by slaves. While we pokute our world with no thought towards tomorrow. Great stuff as always Hebe!

[Hebe]

Thank you for reading my poem .... hopefully one day we can all come together and maybe change things!

[Lorry]

Impressively captured, especially considering the ten word prompt, which I can never quite get right. Here the message couldn't be simpler, the divide between have and don't have and the separation of need and want, show just how insane the world is and has been and we need to stop thinking that someone else will deal with the mess we are making of things. Where did we go so wrong in life that we let others starve while pets are overfed?
Really enjoyed this piece. Apologies for the rant :)

[Hebe]

Nemo thank you for your kind words.... I love your rant :).... it's all about raising awareness.

[Lorry]

Good, no doubt there will be more ranting soon :)

[wordman]

it`s a shame that any one in this world should go hungry,or sleep in a street,it`s called greed

[Hebe]

Yes ..... it's a tragedy in this day and age... tbank you for reading my poem.

[wordman]

my pleasure !

[Lovecraft]

Pretty well done for a word contest. Most of the words fit together quite well in my view.
Good job! :P

[Hebe]

Thank you Kevin for reading my poem and your review. I like the challenge of the10 word contests! :)

[D Connolly]

WHOA. This is very good. And the word "eclipse" in the title gives me the impression of darkness covering this once bright image; can't even bear to look at it anymore. Well done Hebe

[D Connolly]

ha! didn't realize I already commented. well there you go!! Good stuff ;)

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Powerful and vivid imagery. Much feeling conveyed throughout and you use a great choice of words. The moral was also great! :)

[Hebe]

Thank you so much, i appreciate your words.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

My pleasure! You're talented. :)