I felt it's leaving

It all has purpose

pulled away a chunk of life

it bleeds color

in the misery 

staining thee ground   ,with a blessing in contrast 

and the marks they stay

drug it away it left a trail 

it won't be  washed away

spilling out 

i can see its emergence 

and all the paths it diverges 

with its trailing color 

in its wake

in its rhyme 

its rhythm 

the gap in the mosaic,  the colored drops of dew and smoke

i felt it leaving

i can see its departure

carried on the wind and smoke

staining more lives 

more chunks of the mosaic are falling

living as though they are 

more pieces are missing 

more trails more divergences

can you see it ?

can  you see how far ?

the trails of smoke and the colored drops of dew ?

can you follow its path see its beginning ?  ,The path of dew and smoke that crossed over mine

intermingled in coalescence

 

changed my color

my missing chunk in the mosaic the ones  pulled

the ones drug away

bleeding in brilliance 

bleeding in brilliance as they are  ,bleeding in brilliance as they were

i'm stuck in the trail of color i can't see my feet or the lines they leave

i'm intermingled in coalescence

with your essence with trails of dew and smoke 

getting lost in the leaving scent

getting lost in the leaving scent

getting rained down in the rains of change 

diluted but never washed away

not to be left by the floods the torrential storms

I can see your color in the sea of color and in all its forms it dyed my wall

I can see all of your colors in the leaving of the storm

its slowly dripping out too be be refilled 

To be there with my ashes in the winds  and  storm 

my colored drops of dew and smoke...

Author's Note

feel it

Reviews

[Paul Bell]

You put a lot of feeling into this.
Losing someone close, or someone who changed your life for the better, is devastating. You're always on hold for a time. Some people give up, some try and move on. I always think you should say thanks for a lost one. Keeps you strong.

[TheAimlessWanderer]

i feel the same way remembering how they changed your life and their part in you becoming who you are shows gratitude to them in a way that will stick with you forever what they tried to teach lives on in your everyday actions what there lives taught can't be replaced and over the course of your life you may be taught innumerable times by the lives of other you are a sum of many lives compounded into one being and someday you may be the one who's life teaches others and cycle of intention grows and the message still carries.

[Paul Bell]

I think that's how it should be. The cycle should be continued.

[OldAccount]

Oh I feel it. In my soul, in my heart. Your descriptions are beautiful, the emotion is deep. I'm inspired, its fantastic!

[Sapientiam]

This may be odd to say, but I believe this is the best thing you've ever written for many reasons. First off, you basically metaphorized loss as a tangible entity that you visually see leaving from you, as if it just left on its own. I thought about tragedy when reading this, such as when someone we love dies, a part of us is taken to the grave as well. Secondly, your strong and unique diction gave the entire poem a peaceful, yet mournful tone to it. It feels like the onset of grief, when you actually come to terms with loss and it brews many emotions- spite, anger, sorrow, absolute misery. Emotional turmoil may be an accurate word to describe some aspects of the poem. All in all, your thoughts came together with such fluidity and grace... There are no other words to describe how I feel about this. Amazing job!

[TheAimlessWanderer]

wow i did not expect anyone to say this is my best work at all i felt i was missing all those wonderful things you said all my poems are metaphors but is really nice when people actually understand the metaphor individual interpretation is wonderful but most of the time it is not what i am trying to portray at all which makes me realize my lack of ability to portray my intentions to anyone but me and the occasional open minded writers/readers and obviously if i explained all the metaphors to everyone that reads what would be the point in me sharing my poems i might as well just write them and never share them at that point anyways got off topic there for a second i really appreciate it i it makes me very happy to hear that someones sees it as not just pretty words without meaning and could actually understand and feel it feel it in their bones Thank you Thank you so much!!

[The Exiled Wolf]

Reading this piece is an enjoyable experience. I guess I'm kinda strange coz I find this piece soothing - a different mood of what this piece is carrying. I like how you see the missing piece a chance to change people - I hope this can happen to me too!

Wolf

[TheAimlessWanderer]

loss is something no one really gets over but rarely do we get the chance outside of absence to see how they really changed our lives and how we hope we can do the same for other people so they have it a little bit easier than we did hoping they feel the same in turn loss is not going to go away and loss creates more loss spreading like a fatal infection breeding more hate anger and sadness generations of it there is an opportunity to grow just as there is one to decay most of my life i have decayed for varying reasons but i wish i could make it easier for myself and others to live out there lives with a little more certainty of how profound life is and all those bad moments leading up that have consumed your life can be just as easily be eclipsed by the good ones that is something i want to believe and make a reality and that every moment ever second of every single day has undeniably

[TheAimlessWanderer]

shaped who you are and there is beauty in that all things taught to us by people who have been through so many different things some similar and some we could not even begin to imagine it is inspiring and makes me feel maybe it is worth it sometimes maybe i could be like that for someone someday and maybe i wouldn't worry so much and see what is in front of me right now in this very moment and every second of every single day and just see how truly strange beautiful and diverse the world can sometimes be thank you for your comment i really enjoyed reading it and thinking more on these questions i am glad that you could find enjoyment in this that is really special to me.