The sun that i choose not to see

from the sun

writing makes me depressed

my feelings compressed

words not to be heard

things not to be seen 

not even a third or part of my dream

things i want to say i could spend endless days 

on tangents just to say same damn thing the words that wont escape lips 

eclipse by keystrokes 

and flicks of the wrist

wondering why poetry even exists 

a cowards way for some 

others a tale to be spun

getting so caught up in there own web

so deep in tangle 

can't see the sky from the forest

the hypocrite from the philosopher 

the writer from the runner

the webs of a tangled soul they are

whether myth mer or the whimsy of the soul splashing the page

or are caught deeply in their hatred or rage

for some it may be fun 

but when all is said and done

it is just another way to run

from the words i choose not to say

and the sun that i choose not to see.

Reviews

[Sapientiam]

I feel like you say many things that contradict each other, but I find it rather thought provoking than an actual issue. In fact, it's not bad at all. In the beginning, you say that writing makes you depressed, but most people would find writing therapeutic because it allows one to release supressed emotions onto a page. Yet, this does not seem to be the case with you... It seems it causes more pain because you are failing to understand your own words, if they are even true. It also seems like writing doesn't do much for you because you can't say what you want to say. People can form the most prettiest sentences about pain, but none truly grasp the horror of what depression embodies. In that, I deeply agree with you. However, with people like you, I can actually feel ypur pain. It may not be the same pain you experience, but I feel... Something. You bring life to your writings, if that makes any sense. Also, you wonder about the existence of poetry, which is ironic because writers find poetry as a form of emotional outler, but again, it doesn't seem to work for you. I truly appreciate this writing and I pray for your wellbeing in the future. You may not know how to say the words, but it is better to say something than nothing at all. ^ ^

[TheAimlessWanderer]

My emotions change so quickly it is hard to validate what i really feel, even harder to understand it. I both like and hate poetry because i feel so deeply every time i write from within it hurts so much, rehashing my current pain and it never feel like i am able to fully express it. i always usually cut my poems short because i have such a insatiable need to write it drives me crazy and it rarely ever gets fulfilled, it just consumes me and then writing feels more like i am fighting myself than letting things out, but if don't contain it there is far too much i would bare and i would start making self judgments and then i would begin imagining everything people think about me in an unending flood. suffocated and drowned is how i would feel in the end all because i can't just say something more straight forward without fancy words or others thing belying meaning in between the lines for mostly only me to see, or at least it seems that way most times, as it is all metaphors or symbolism i can't expect someone to see my true intentions, but they are there because i am unable to cope with saying them aloud and direct so i feel cowardly and sick.

[Jayzus]

Nice I feel that chill too

[TheAimlessWanderer]

Thanks i am glad you felt my words.

[thaleeyaLuna]

I saw your title and it intrigued me. I thought it would be some kind of romantic poem, but knowing you, you probably rarely write things in that genre. When I started reading it, I didn't expect it would be a poem about writing. And yes, I would agree with your thought. That writing, or why we write takes on so many reasons that we alone can decipher.

[TheAimlessWanderer]

thanks for reading it yeah it feels nearly impossible to express my feeling almost every time whether it is writing or real life i just think far too much everything becomes to complicated or convoluted this was a vent about my inability to express myself thanks for reading your right about the romantic poetry thing but i found it quite funny when i read it so thank you for that (: