The Cloak of melancholy

The darkness lays inside me

the changes try to drive me

closer, closer farther away from you

farther, farther ,farther away from me 

these thoughts stir 

the maelstrom is coming

twisting, twisting

maybe i should just keep running

pulling, pulling i am being brought back in

these ominous winds are shifting and all this time just drifting

farther away from me

and all i used to see 

the light, bending ,bending, bending around me

my hearts not mending

wild like the sea

there's something deep inside

something i can only fear and hide

the cloak of melancholy veils my soul

the blood drips down from this tattered veil

and this freezing hail

shifting with the ominous winds

making haze

so i can avert their gaze

from the true pieces

the ones that lie within

feeble, feeble 

oh so feeble

clutching these dilapidated things

grasping, grasping 

at the faded things in hands

oh so worrisome we are 

stuck with life's demands...

Reviews

[Sheila Kline]

The struggle you are experiencing is evident in your words which clearly describe the continued angst, the ongoing challenge to meet the challenges of living; running away, getting closer, the up and downs of each passing day as it gets to each of us in one way or another.

Your style is interesting; the repetition I especially like as it tends to allow the reader to understand the strength of your expressions of melancholy.

(one small note of correction: theirs something deep inside, possibly should be there's? - your choice)

[TheAimlessWanderer]

Wow such insight thank you for your lovely review i love the repetition too. For me it is a natural rhythm when i write so i am glad you enjoyed it the feelings are strong in this one but i get stronger everyday the more that you experience the more you grow yeah it may be hard to live today that does not mean it will always be like that thank you so deeply that means a lot to me as i have trouble expressing myself outside of written word. yes their is probably a large amount of grammatical errors i never learned proper grammar in school teachers just gave up on me but i don't really care all that much to be honest about grammar to confusing for me and i don't edit often because i feel it breaks my flow and intention unless it hinders the ability to convey. Thank again for reading and spotting my blunder i will fix that and i am so glad you liked it !

[Julia.Moore]

A love for haiku poetry began in college, inspired by its simplicity and depth. The book Blue Harlequin captures these moments beautifully. Read the full article to explore the essence of haiku poetry: https://aoidemagazine.com/what-is-haiku-poetry/

[Lorne Blaine]

I was going to point out too, great use of repetition. It truly grasped my attention and drove me to finish the poem and, all in all, I think this is what matters the most in poetry: one can say anything, as long as it sounds good.

[The Exiled Wolf]

This struggle is exactly what's happening in me. This kind of unexplained sadness and fear is just haunting me. Thanks a lot for putting this feeling into words!

[LovePoetry0004]

I really liked this piece! The description s were awesome and the words you used made for a very good poem. The emotions put into this made for the poem to come out seeming very deep. That deep feeling is what I'm looking for in the Tragic Poem contest. You did great!

[TheAimlessWanderer]

Thank you very much it means so much to hear that you could feel my heart in it connection is one of the driving forces behind me writing as i am currently unable to express my feelings properly outside of written word so this is a gate way for me to feel deeply and expresses my feelings and thoughts.

[Emomoemi Johnson Newcou..]

I'm sure this poem connects with every true poet who's expressed sadness and a heartbreak at some very deep level. Nice one.

[TheAimlessWanderer]

Thank you very much it means a lot to hear that people connect to what i write there is never a better compliment.

[Ted Kniffen]

Aimless, this is an excellent bit of work, truly emotional. Writers seem to understand these feelings better than most, that's why we are writers. The pain we encounter is part of what drives us to put our thoughts on paper, to share with like minded souls who have gone through the same things, to gain perspective and deal with adversity. It's not easy, but it is necessary. Good luck. Good write.

[TheAimlessWanderer]

thanks ted yeah it was hard for me to upload these when i have been doing so much better lately it really is quite soul crushing to feel this way again but such is life i guess and from this i will grow when i start to feel again and the time away from the maelstrom will get longer and longer and maybe someday i will be free and unbounded i thank you for your deep understanding and insight thank for this i feel a little better (:

[Robert Haigh]

A heartfelt and anguished write. Life can be tough, but we have to be tougher. The only way through bad or hard times is to ride on straight through it. Time can change perspectives. Hang on in there!

[TheAimlessWanderer]

yeah i find that too but it works both way for that not always a good thing and to push past things and be stronger is always a temporary thing for me but i will keep on trying to find my place wherever it might be i will keep writing it makes life easier i am glad that you could feel it means i was able to express myself and connect so thank you for reading and reviewing this ! and thank you for your heartfelt and sincere concern it helps

[Robert Haigh]

You are welcome.