The Children of the mountain

something i did in a project for creative writing many years back never felt inspired to finish it even though i really want to just am not knowledgeable enough to fix its glaring flaws love some help

Prologue                   The Children Of The Mountain

In the eastern peaks of the Karath Mountains laid a small settlement of children that did no to belong to any world of their own. Abandoned by society, they formed a place of equality and sanctuary for the downtrodden youth of this world, where they were not shunned or despised because of their unique way of thinking about this world. Once not long ago, only one such of theses tribes existed but that all soon changed. For through the wandering forest in the north outlying mountains sat a turbid peak where only the dead staleness of the world could thrive and where light was only an afterthought on the endless crag lined with iridescent glow of the faintest moonlight leaving the sense of an indelible sadness interwoven in the daily lives of all that resided there.  That those who were seemingly being betrayed by fate itself or at least that is what society believed. In a world ruled by false democracy nepotism is the only outcome where kings sat atop a throne of blood and steel tempered from the flames of war. These children had no hope to escape from this insurmountable fate preordained by the supposed leaders of this fate less world thus begun the story. Of those who opposed their own supposed destiny to protect the truest of all falsehoods that our destinies are our own to command and society has no right to manipulate them to their whims. In the mountains of far north lay a world uncorrupted by malice’s visage lined with gold, gems and other minerals and also with the hope of a group of wayward children seeking a new life for they treaded the forgotten path and were the key to the world’s salvation. 

Chapter 1

In the mountains where the children had settled laid the remnants of the long forgotten war and the beast which had claimed it as its home loud echoes of the damned echoed through the mountain passage throughout the peerless night of the soldiers of the war that was fought here long ago not all forget the scars of war it does not just affect the participant’s it affects those who are weary of others strife this holds true with one of the refugees of the mountain whose granddad fought in the war even though his grandfather  was only but a peaceful young farmer he was conscripted at a young age and forced to leave his wife and newborn son to fight in the war which he did not want to fight in and shed the blood of  fellow men the war was nearing its end it looked as if the other side would win but then the empire did something that even the other side not do they ventured into the caverns with the vile intent of  destruction which hosted the beast from an unknown land  and bound them to their will by using what seemed to be the origination of their  power the runes carved into that cavern glowed with the overflowing otherworldly power of a long  forgotten race and the world shuttered at the awakening of something truly  fearsome  the ground was torn asunder by the unholy roar which bellowed from the depths. Of the cavern but it was not a roar filled with malevolent intent more sad a sadness that could only be brought on by many lifetimes of suffering in a split second all that remained was blood bones rended from the very bodies themselves all that remained was Gramn’s grandfather bathed in the blood of both friend and foe and a faint sound of screams of agony in the distance and gramn’s grandfather clutching the dirt stained with blood of one of his fellow comrades gramn’s grandfather hobbled home with his remaining strength covered in blood and entrails passing through town gasped echoed from behind as he hobbled his way home after not being there for 11 years he bursted through the door gasping for breath his wife stared in awe and  in disgust that he was covered in entrails HHHonneyy!!!!is “his wife exclaims” yeah it’s me can you go get our son I want to say something to him before I go “Before you go ?!” she looks down and see the giant gash in his back and the blood pooling on the floor beneath him yes I will go get him <her face flushed with sadness and tears welling up in her eyes she walks into the other room” JUUURA THIS IS YOUR FAAATHER DAD?!!! Jura exclaims WHHHATT WHERE HAAAVE YOU BEEN ALL THIS TIME WHEN I NEEDED YOU!!!? “Juras mother” JURA LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR FATHER HAS TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tears welling up in her eyes and fathers eyes “JURA BEGINS TO QUIET DOWN” FAAATHER?!!!!!!! LISTEN JURA I MAY NOT HAVE BEEN THE BEST FATHER IF I COULD HAVE I WOULD HAVED STAYED WITH YOUR MOTHER AND YOU BUT PLEASE JUST LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY DON’T HATE THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WAR THEY FOUGHT AND DIED FOR A CAUSE THAT THEY BELIVED IN A MAN WITHOUT A CAUSE IN WAR IS JUST THE EMPERORS PUPPET THIS WAR WAS A POINTLESS ONE PROVOCATED BY THE FALSE RULERS OF OUR NATION DON’T LET YOURSELF BE SWEPT UP IN THE NATIONS HATRED OF INDIVIDUALISM ACHH “COUGH COUGH” “jura” YOUR BLEEDING!! “Jura’s father” this is all that the emperors ideals will bring a nation filled with hate and indifference towards the sufferers of this nations burden don’t grow to hate the one who did this to me he was just being puppeted by the empire like everyone else this war was just a way for the empire to deal with those who opposed or didn’t agree with their ideals DON’T let our cause end with me FIGHT AGAINST THE TYRANNY OF THE EMPIRE DON’T EVER LET GO OF YOUR OWN IDEALS AND ALWAYS FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN “Jura” I WILL DAD ‘tear’ ‘tear’ “Jura’s father” THANK YOU MY SON I MAY NOW GO IN PEACE NOW THAT I HAVE SEEN THAT YOU HAVE GROWN INTO A GOOD MAN TAKE THIS WITH YOU IT’S MY AMULET JUST KNOW I ALWAYS WILL BE WITH YOU MY SON  COUGH COUGH UGHHH AH “Jura” DAD! DAD!! DAD!!! DAAADDDD!!!!!!! NO WHY DAD WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO TO WAR I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THE EMPIRE NEVER!! Jura’s dad’s last words echoing in his head I WILL RID THIS WORLD OF INJUSTICE FOR EVERYONE and even though the scars of the land may fade the ones ingrained on the hearts of the sufferer’s will not .

Chapter 2

Jura soon met people with similar ideals one of these people was Jura’s future wife and Gramn’s mother  their rag tag group did various thing to hinder the empire’s various military plots stealing weapon’s form supply routes  stealing the governments military funds from the treasury and bribing the royal scribe and tax collectors to change it to account for the loss of money blackmailing the royal sword smith with the fact that he was making swords for the opposing nations to let them take his equipment to slow the production of weapons and supplying the rebellion with weapons from the materials they were destroying the empire from the inside this soon changed when the empire caught on that somebody was sabotaging their resource network to prevent the production of armaments they had to take measures to take out the empires economic infrastructure  by flooding the market with the things of the highest value in astronomical quantity’s their by making the empire’s best resources worthless and forcing them to rely on other nations in the process of taking out the empires vast trade network most of the nations that they rely on now are already backing the rebellion so the empire just backing themselves into pile of debt once the nations backing us pull out from the empire this looked to be the end to be the end of the empire but we WERE WRONG SO WRONG!! we never could have anticipated what was about to happen next the empire struck back at all the surrounding nations in a full assault BETRAYED?!! THERE WAS NO WAY THE EMPIRE COULD HAVE FIELDED THAT LARGE OF AN ARMY WITH REMAINS OF THEIR TREASURY SOMETHING IS WRONG AND OUT SICKLY BLOOD FILLED MIST A PECULIAR FIGURE STEPPED OUT NOT A FIGURE NO SOMETHING ELSE WIELDING AN INTENT FOUL ENOUGH THAT IT COULD RIP A MAN’S SOUL ASUNDER BY IT’S VERY PRESENCE THE WORLD QUAKED WITH IT’S OWN HATRED PERSONIFIED AND THE BATTLEFIELD SHUTTERED AT ITS OMINOUS ROAR AND IN THAT VERY SECOND ALL I COULD HEAR IS MY DAD’S WORDS ECHOING MY MIND(JURA DON’T HATE THE ONE WHO DID THIS TO ME HE WAS JUST BEING PUPPETED BY THE EMPIRE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS WAR)AND IN INSTANT I KNEW WHO THAT WAS YOU KILLED MY FAAAATHHHHEERR !!! MY RAGE FILLED SCREAM DEAFENING THE VERY WORDS OF MY BELOVED FATHER WHO I NEVER KNEW BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID WAR /DEVOURING ALL OF THE LIGHT REMAINING IN MY HEART I CHARGED INTO TO THE BLOOD FILLED HAZE WITH FEROCITY THAT COULD DULL THE MIGHTIEST BLADES MIND BLANK WITH UMBRA SURROUNDING MY VERY EXISTENCE I BECOME ENGULFED INTO THE FOG FILLED WITH SORROWS OF THE MILLIONS WHO DIED IN THIS WAR CRIES ECHOING ALL AROUND ME BLOOD POOLING AROUND MY BOOTS LIKE THE SOULS OF THE DIEING CLINGING ONTO THEIR LAST REMNANT OF HUMANITY AS I STRIDE TOWARDS THE BEAST I LET OUT A ROAR THAT RIVALED THE BEASTS“I WILL BLEED EVERY DROP OF YOUR EXISTENCE FROM THIS WORLD”THEN I HEAR SOMETHING THAT WAS INAUDIBLE TO ME BEFORE MY HEART WAS FILLED WITH RAGE “I’M SORRY I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS WAS NEVER MY CHOICE PLEASE DON’T COME ANY CLOSER I DON’T WANT TO KILL ANYMORE cries of dead echoing  in my mind intangible undeniable darkness pulling me closer to the void wailing of the beast strangling the very strength from my bones barely able to stand I push onward to what seems to be my certain doom as I close in on the origin of the deathly wail tears began trail down the side of my face as if it is the inner me busting out of my entombed heart it’s as if the beast’s pain was flowing through me then I began understand its sorrow all the feelings of malice began to be diluted by the creatures own sadness flowing through my body “and if unconsciously my father guiding my hand”I say (I will help you don’t be afraid I too have suffered greatly at the hand of the empire ‘ the beast says’ you remind me greatly of the one the only one who did not harbor hate towards me even after he saw what I had done “JURA”THE ONE WHO DID NOT HARBOR HATE ?!!     DAD!!!!!! YES HE VERY WELL COULD HAVE BEEN YOUR DAD HE ADORNED A SIMILAR AMULET TO YOU “YOU KILLED MY FATHER WHHHYYYYY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I DID NOT KIL HIM I USED HIS REMAINING STRENGTH TO BIND HIS SOUL TO THAT AMULET SO THE EMPIRE WOULD NOT CORRUPT HIS SOUL AND PUPPET HIM USING MY POWER I SAVED YOUR DAD FROM A FATE FAR WORSE THAN DEATH ‘MY FATE !! SOOO THAAT REAALY WAS MMY DAAD SPEAAKING TO ME?!!!!! YES AND BECAUSE OF THAT HE WAS ABLE TO SAVE YOUR LIFE AND YOU WERE ABLE TO RESIST THE CORRUPTION SEEPING FROM THE GRAVES AROUND YOU “CORRUPTION? YES THE TRUE INTENTIONS BROUGHT FORTH BY POWER THE REASON YOUR FATHER SURVIVED WAS BECAUSE HIS HEART WAS THE MOST PURE HONORABLE HEART I HAVE EVER SEEN SO HE WAS ABLE TO RESIST THE CORRUPTION LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO BIND HIS SOUL TO HIS AMULET BEFORE HIS SOUL AND BODY WERE EVISCERATED FROM THE INSIDE OUT SO YOU DID NOT KILL HIM!!!? NO AS I SAID SAVED HIM FROM BEING CORRUPTED WHICH IS A FATE FAR WORSE THAN DEATH I KNOW FIRST HAND OF THE TRUE EVIL OF HUMANITY PEOPLE THAT WERE ONCE FRIENDS KILLING EACH OTHER FOR A SMALL PARCEL OF LAND FIELDS STAINED WITH THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT AND WITH THE TEARS OF THE GUILTY THIS WORLD WAS ALWAYS A HARSH AND UNFORGIVING ONE BUT I DON’T SE THIS CHANGING ANYTIME SOON OR ATLEAST I DIDN’T HE HARBORED NO HATE ANY ONE OR ANYTHING I COULD SENSE IN HIS HEART THE LAST REMENANT OF GOODNESS IN THIS WORLD SOMETHING THAT HE SEEMS TO HAVE PASSED ON TO YOU IN THIS WORLD OF THE UNFORGIVING LIES A PLACE THAT EXIST UNCORRUPTED BY THIS WORLDS NEXUS OF DARKNESS YOU MUST GO THERE AND CHANGE THIS WORLD REALLY CHANGE IT !! AND BRING THE WORLDS DARK OVERLORDS TO THEIR KNEES BUT YOU CANNOT DO THIS ALONE ALL THOSE WHO FIGHT UNDER YOUR BANNER WILL BE THE WORLDS SWORD OF HOPE TO SMITE THE DESPAIR THAT CREEPS INTO ALL OUR HEARTS BRING ONLY YOUR MOST TRUSTED FRIENDS BECAUSE THIS WILL DECIDE IF THE AMBIGUITY OF THE HUMAN HEART HAS THE MIGHT TO STAND AGAINST THE LORDS OF MALICE I WAS ENTOMBED FOR MANY A CENTURIES BY THE UNSURETY OF THE HUMAN HEART BUT WHERE THERE IS UNSURETY THERE IS FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN NOT JUST ON THE OUTSIDE THIS WORLD REPLACED ALL OF IT’S OWN RULE BY THE TYRANNY OF FEAR LONG AGO THE FIRST BEAST WAS NOT A BEAST BUT THE INTENT OF MALICE THE BEING THAT HARVESTED IT’S OWN LIFE TO BEND THE WILL OF OTHERS THAT BEING WAS ONE OF MY BRETHREN BUT THAT POWER IS NOT CONTROLLED OR HARNESSED NO NO IT IS THE MASTER OF ALL THAT HAS BOUGHT INTO IT’S CORRUPTION IT LET’S PEOPLE BELIEVE IN THEIR OWN POWER THEN IT TAKES IT AWAY CORRUPTING THEIR EXISTENCE BEYOND REPAIR A POWER OF ADDICTION AN ADDICTION OF ADDICTION THAT IS WHAT IT IS I TRIED TO TAME THAT POWER AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO ME ONCE OLD FRIENDS OF MINE LOCKED ME INTO THAT BLASTED CAVE FOR MANY EONS TIME LOST ALL SENSE OF MEANING IN THAT CAVE BUT DAYS FELT LIKE YEARS AND YEARS FELT LIKE MILLENNIA UNTIL IT ALL CAME TOGETHER AS ONE FLUID ENTITY MADNESS DRIVING AWAY MADNESS THE ANTI-POISON OF THE SOUL BUT I REALLY SHOULD BE THANKING MY FRIENDS IF THEY HAD NOT ACTED I COULD TURN OUT LIKE ALL THE OTHERS WELL NOT ALL THEIR STILL ONE BUT I DON’T KNOW IF YOU COULD CONSIDER HIM AS ONE ANYMORE THOUGH ONE?!WELL NO, MORE LIKE ALL HE IS THE CREATURE OF TRUE EMOTION THE FIRST BEAST AN TWISTED EMBODIMENT OF THIS WORLDS MALIGNANCE BUT THIS PROVES THAT THE WORLD ONLY HAS ONE TRUE PUPPET MASTER “EMOTION”GOOD IS THE ENEMY OF THIS WORLD REALLY IT HAS DONE MORE DAMAGE THAN EVIL EVER COULD WITHOUT GOOD AROUNDD THIS WORLD RIFE WITH CORRUPTION  WOULD GO UNNOTICED AS JUST HOW THE WORLD IS AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN BUT ITS FAR TOO LATE FOR THAT THE FIRST BEAST DID NOT JUST CREATE EMOTIONS BUT IN TURN CREATED MORALITY HIS UN-MORAL WORLD WAS SHOWN THE TRUE REFLECTION THROUGH THE MIRROR OF TRUTH “EMOTION” THAT SHIFTED THE PAINTING OF SOLITUDE BUT WITH UNITY ALSO COMES SEPARATION ,SEPARATION FROM ALL THAT THEY ONCE KNEW MOST CLING TO THE IDEA OF RULE BUT VERY FEW CLUNG TO THE IDEA OF FEALTY AND THOSE WHO DID USUALLY WERE TOO WEAK TO HAVE ANY OTHER IDEALS THE WORLD OF THE WEAK THE STRONG IS ONLY A TANGIBLE IDEA IF GOOD AND EVIL EXISTED IN THIS WORLD THEIR BUT THE SAME COULD BE SAID FOR THE OTHER THEIR WOULD BE NO NEED FOR THE WEAK IN A SOLITARY WORLD MOST WOULD HAVE ALREADY BEEN WEEDED OUT BY THE LAND AND THOSE THAT DID SURVIVE WERE SOON DONE IN BY THEIR OWN INEPTITUDE TO HUNT AND FORAGE IN THE ALREADY RESOURCE RAVAGED LANDS THIS WORLD WAS TEETERING ON THE BRINK OF CALAMITY UNKNOWN TO THEM UNTIL “IT HAPPENED !!!” EQUILIBRIUM WAS LOST AND THE WORLD BEGAN TO TEAR ITSELF APART WHEN THEY LEARNED WHAT WAS THE ABSENCE IN THEIR WORLD “WHAT HOW ‘HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!!  WHEN THE FIRST BEAST BECAME WHO HE IS IT DID NOT JUST AFFECT MY BRETHREN NO IT AFFECTED ALL’ ALL THAT WAS ONCE ABSENT IN THE WORLD SOON TO FLOOD BACK INTO EXISTENCE OR INTO NOBODY KNOWS THAT IS THE REAL QUESTION WHY WAS IT GONE OR NOT THEIR IN THE FIRST PLACE MANY ANCIENT SCHOLARS THEORIZED THAT OUR WORLD IS THE LINK BETWEEN MANY OTHER WORLDS AND WHEN THAT LINK IS ACTIVATED THINGS NOT NECESSARILY TANGIBLE THINGS GET PULLED THROUGH THIS IMBALANCE IS REPLACED BY SOMETHING OF ANOTHER WORLDS GETTING SENT THROUGH THE GATE NEITHER WORLD HAS ANY MEMORY OF THE EVENT THERE ARE CLEAR INDICATORS TO PROVE THAT IT TOOK PLACE AND HAS HAPPENED MANY A TIME S EVEN BEFORE THE WORLD THAT WAS KNOWN EXISTED FOR ALL WE KNOW WE COULD ALL JUST BE RECYCLED MATERIAL FROM ANOTHER WORLD SWITCHING BACK AND FORTH ENDLESSLY UNBEKNOWNST TO US BUT LETS NOT THINK THAT WAY OTHERWISE LIFE LOSES ALL TANGIBILITY THAT IS HOW PEOPLE GO MAD NOW WE DON’T WANT THAT DO WE ??! THE CREATURES CONVERSATION CHANGED EVERYTHING I KNEW ABOUT THE WORLD WHAT IS MORAL? WHAT IS MORALITY? NONE OF THIS MADE SENSE ANY MORE AS I STOOD THERE JAW GAPING CLIMBING DEEPER INTO THE TUNNEL OF MY SUBCONSCIOUS MIND I AWOKE TO THE WORLDS TRUEST FALSE HOOD.

CONTINUATION ON PART 2 OVER SUMMER.maybe ?

Author's Note

hoping to get inspired to continue from some from fresh insight on how to improve feel free to leave any critique if this works out i have more unfinished works i will put up here to get help in fixing any and all help is a appreciated thank you! on another note lost my better edited version somewhere so there probably is gaps a lot of them.

Reviews

[Crimson]

Very interesting and gripping which is hard to achieve in such a long piece, really glad I stumbled upon this and I'd love to read pt.2, don't worry about seeing flaws in the writing as we aren't professionals! This is what the website is for, keep writing :)

[TheAimlessWanderer]

Thank you so much i am really glad you liked what you read it is quite disconjointed and from me reading it again after so long it is missing quite a few words and in need of a lot changes wrote this back in my highschool creative writing class it was a lot of fun i hope i get the inspiration to continue it the only thing stopping me at the moment is motivation from the amount of work it will take to edit this and i know next to nothing about grammar or sentence structure lol glad you like it i hope you stumble on more of my things in the future lol thanks for reading (:

[Crimson]

Very interesting and gripping which is hard to achieve in such a long piece, really glad I stumbled upon this and I'd love to read pt.2, don't worry about seeing flaws in the writing as we aren't professionals! This is what the website is for, keep writing :)

[MICASA]

cool....u literally wrote this whole by yourself...wow!! lovely🌈

[TheAimlessWanderer]

Thank you for your kindness but i realize it has glaring flaws and honestly it was worse than i originally thought i used to write a lot of stories when i was younger but now i realize how much struggle i am going to have to put in to make it coherent but i want to so if you enjoyed it look forward to a finish product heehe (:
it really means a lot that you took the time to read and review this thank you.

[MICASA]

it's worth reading my friend..I think u should continue writing cuz u write very well.....u r really sweet

it's worth reading!! I think u should definitely continue writing....u r really sweet....n expecting more writings from u my friend..... I know u will be back with more interesting n eye-catching stuffs....🌻

[TheAimlessWanderer]

awww your so sweet thank you so much. i will try not to disappoint myself and keep moving forward thank you so much.

[MICASA]

u r most welcome......I really wish that u do much more better my friend. take care n all the best!😃