Visitors Resurface Memories

Insite on Christophers Past.

CHRISTOPHER

I began walking back down the stairs, ripping at my hair. It’s never been hard for me to say what’s on my mind, so why now? I couldn’t help but watch her. No matter how much I had tried, my eyes wouldn’t leave her.

The way she held herself together astounded me. I couldn’t believe the reason she was shaking so violently was only from the cold. I know better than that, even if she doesn’t. I just wish I could understand what in her life was so tragic to send her into this state of depression.

“Chris!” I hear a high-pitched voice call. I look up from the frosted ground. I see Leah Thompson walking my way. Her pixie-like figure floats when she walks, and her hair stays perfectly in place, short and dark. It reminds me of a porcupine. I remember running my hands through the strands each time we kissed. Old relationships capture strong memories in my mind.

I reform my expression as she approaches me. “Didn’t you hear me calling you earlier?” She asks, immediately. Same old Leah. “Sorry, No.” I say, absentmindedly. I find myself wishing she’d move on with this conversation so I could get off campus, back to my apartment.

“Well, I saw you with some little girl. Friend of yours?” I could hear the sarcasm in her voice. That’s the thing about Leah, she has zero tolerance for people she doesn’t know. She judges them, usually with harsh, cruel eyes, before she even meets them. She notices that I don’t answer. “What? Is she your new girlfriend?” Her question was innocent, but for some reason it tore at my heart.

I coughed as I met her eyes. “No.” I say and her expression fades, letting Isabella drop. “Leah, what are you doing here?” I try my luck, turning the attention full on her. “I went by your work, and then I saw you heading up hill. I needed to talk to you.” Her eyes grow glazed, as if it was hard for her to admit.

Knowing where this is heading is the hard part. It’s been three months since we broke up. My choice; one she wasn’t too happy with. “Well..” Her voice was soft, hardly legible. She took a step towards me, reaching her hand out to grasp my coat pocket, lightly. I let a sigh escape and gently took her hand in mine. “Leah, you know why this didn’t work the first time.” Her hand trembles, slightly, as she slowly pulls it from mine.

It’s hard to watch someone I care for suffer. I do care for Leah, just not in the way she wishes I do. She hasn’t been able to let go of our past, no matter how much she tries. Her head drops, slowly, but I notice. She stares at the snow, at our feet, slowly nodding. “I understand.” She forces her voice to sound strong.

Hurting her, time after time, is making me weaker. I cannot stand to see her this way. I reach out and tug her towards me with one hand. She reluctantly embraces me. “Still friends?” She muffles into my chest. I chuckle slightly as I let her go. “Of course.”

She nods again, as if she’s trying to accept this. I just pray she’ll move on this time. I don’t know how many times I can have this discussion and continue to walk away unfazed.

Leah slowly drags herself from me and forces a smile. “Friends.” Is the last thing she says before she fades into the darkness. I stand, watching her walk away for a moment. I run my hands through my bronze hair, once more glancing back up the hill to Isabella’s dorm. There is one, sole, light shinning from a window on the top floor. I’m not positive it is, indeed, her room, but part of me cannot help but believe that it is.

I just wish I could explain to myself, to my mind, why she captivates me so much. She’s a sixteen year old, high school student, who doesn’t talk, much less shows an expression decipherable by anyone. All signs say to leave her alone and move on with my life. It seems simple. So why am I wasting my time?

Author's Note

Any comments so far? What are you guys thinking? Good? Bad? Should I go crawl in a hole and never write again? You tell me.

Reviews

[Martina]

Love this! Don't have anything else to say but just keep up the good work!

[anneliese]

i really like it. you seem to have a style of writing that i've never seen before and i enjoy it, based more on thought then action. i do have to say that i find it humurous that you have two twilight names, but im glad that there is no other connection. im looking forward to reading the rest of this.