Unspoken Thoughts

Acceptance is out of the question.

ISABELLA

I wasn't sure how to respond, but I had heard Jason request I be seen home, to my dorm, so I nodded. I was positive that Christopher was the type of guy to make sure the job was done, and I didn't feel like having him follow me home, unnoticed.

The expression on his face was off, when I had agreed to let him walk with me. He looked surprised and, though I'm sure I'm just imagining things, I thought I saw him smile. I didn't like it.

I've never liked the idea of anyone getting too acquainted with me. The fear of them knowing anything about me, about my past.. it just frightens me. No one needs to be brought into that pain.

As he opened the door for me, I ducked my head, trying to avoid the look in his eyes. It was a look of concern, of concentration. It was as if he was trying to decipher each and every emotion I showed. I decided then to find a way to wrap myself up in a mask, to keep him from decoding the secrets that lie within.

I stepped out into the cool air, and the wind sucked me forward. The snow was falling in rapid movements across the nights sky. A white blanket was coating the roads, the sidewalks, the buildings. Anyone else would find it beautiful, but I just found it mocking; a reminder of a happier life that everyone else seemed to enjoy, while I stood, chained to the sidelines in my own misery.

Wrapping my arms tight around my torso, I held in my shivers as we slugged through the snow towards the campus dorms. I was only vaguely aware of Christopher's presence beside me. He kept as quiet as a mouse, and I was almost positive his eyes were on me.

It felt strange, having the attention from him tonight. I hadn't really paid him much attention before. I just knew him as the college, pretty boy who didn't need to be around. I know his family pays for his college and he's had a great life. He's always happy. Too happy. It makes me sick, or jealous, or maybe a little of both.

The snow was beginning to fall harder and my body was starting to tremble against the strength of my arms. I could hear Christopher shuffling with a new pattern behind me. "Isabella?" He spoke quietly, and I was forced to stop. Before I could turn, he was slipping his jacket over my shoulders. I flinched at the sudden movement, and he began apologizing at once.

"I'm sorry, it's just you looked cold..." He trailed off, meeting my eyes. The warmth in them made my spine tingle. I pulled my eyes from his at once, staring back at our footprints in the sand. "Thank you." I said, mostly to the ground, but I was sure he heard me.

We began walking again, heading up a staircase towards my dorm. I could see the light posts by the entrance and only hoped we'd get there soon. Spending more time with Christopher only sounded like a bad idea to me.

I forced my shoes faster through the piling snow, and he noticed. He began to keep pace with me, his long legs easily matching. I let my eyes take a quick glance in his direction and I almost instantaneously regretted it. His eyes met mine once more, and I stuck.

The way he held me was wrong. I shouldn't allow it, and it shouldn't happen. Fear washed over me as his lips parted to speak. I could feel the dorms presence only feet away, and began slipping from his coat.

I handed it to him in a small, quick gesture before he could say what he was thinking. I had my hand on the door before he could react. "Isabella!" He called before I could slip inside. I reluctantly turned to face him, letting my eyes slowly drift everywhere but his face.

After a moment I couldn't help but study his expression. He was struggling against his desire to say something. What, I was unsure. Finally, he bit his lip and then sighed. "Goodnight." He said with defeat clear in his voice as he took a step back from me.

I nodded, silently, and then escaped into my dorm building. Halfway to the staircase, I turned to see him slowly heading back the way we'd come, his hands tangled through his hair.

Author's Note

Do your worst. I should have another chapter up soon, possibly tonight if I get writing soon enough.

Reviews

[Camille K.]

I ducked my head, (say instead i lowered my eyes, or i lowered my head.) ducked isn't right. doesn't sound good. otherwise GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Martina]

Love this! Don't have anything else to say but just keep up the good work!