An Introduction: Her Name Is Isabella.

This is the first time I've tried to write a chapter-story/book for about three months now. I'm hoping to perfect it, as I try to do on most things. This is mearely the beginning, so bare with me.

ISABELLA

It's hard to understand the working minds of those around me. I try to keep it simple, the whole social thing. A small hello or response to a comment someone has addressed me with, sure, I can handle that much. Anything more is just too complicated. It's like any thought process added into a verbal response takes all the energy I've harvested in my body for the day. It's how I've become over the years.

Of course, it's not like I want to live my life like this.. it's just.. how it is. Once you've been broken down into a thousand pieces, the way I have, it's hard to reshape your confidence enough to make the first move. I'm fragile, in almost every way, and though I try, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to rebuild my soul into what it once was.

After childhood abandonment shattered my life, some eight and a half years ago, I've been trying to reconstruct everything. My mother was my best friend. I remember how she used to braid my hair every morning before school. All the other girls were jealous because their mothers never had the time to spend on their hair. It was simple, and naive, but it made me smile every day. I felt special, different from the rest.

My mother told me never to let anyone tell me I was "just like everyone else". She said that was wrong. I was her perfect angel, sent from heaven. I was different. I was special. I was hers and my own, no one else's. She held me together for the first eight years of my life.

When her time came, it was as if lightening filled my sky, striking down everything I loved. It was as if I was the sun, bright and important in the large, open sky, burning out and coming to my end, rapidly, leaving the world in complete darkness. it brought my whole world into a spiraling tornado, it's intent: destroying everything I held near to my heart, to rip away at my seams, destroying me.

It succeeded in it's mission.

My father was another story. He didn't like me from the beginning. Even after my mother died, he wasn't around much. Eventually, he just wasn't around. The transition was slow, subtle.. but it still stung.

I don't really remember how exactly I ended up here. I blocked out the first few months, denying the truth, the truth of everything I already knew. I already knew he wasn't coming back, so did I really... truly... have to except that fact too?

The councilors tried to get me out of this room many times, but nothing here interested me. Not the wild flowers that lead to the garden behind the courtyard. Not the library, stacked with thousands of books. Not the student lounge, not the classes, not even my peers. They were concerned.

They were, honestly, the first people to show an interest in my well being since the day my mother passed. I should have been more grateful. After all the failed attempts, I started to wonder when they were going to slip themselves quietly out of my life, as the rest had before them.

The last straw was when they demanded I do something "extracurricular" with my time or they'd ship me back home to my relatives. My family wouldn't stand for that and sent me many, unfriendly and demeaning, warnings. It was either do as I was told or end up as a foster child, passed from home to home for the rest of my childhood.

I took the simplest way.

I was in a trap either way I chose, so I figured it'd be easier to stay where I was. So, I got a job. This way I got something out of it too. Money, a way to start my life at eighteen. A ticket out of this life and into one I might be a little more comfortable in. It didn't seem completely promising, but I knew I had to try.

The Coffee Hut isn't exactly luxurious, but it pays well. I know how to make about one hundred different drinks, but that's not a skill I truly care about. It's a way to keep my life a little more stable than the foster world, and I except that. It's the only thing that keeps me going.

I have to deal with the crowds of students on campus, of course, but that I even force myself to deal with. They don't bother me much. I'm not a fun target, so they leave me alone. I get through each day, which is more than I feel is reasonable to ask for.

I've learned to put on the brave face in my time spent here. The classes are.. average. It's school, so I don't see how you can complain and not sound like any typical teenager. The dorm is alright, empty for the most part. I've never had a room mate since the first week I arrived here. I try not to dwell on that story much.

All in all, I hold myself together with the little I have. I'm sure if I let my guard up even in the slightest bit, I'd crumble. I hate being weak. And I hate having people know I weak. But there's nothing I can do to change it.

 

 

Author's Note

Tear me appart, I don't care. If it will help my writing, I want to hear it.

Reviews

[nostal]

Very?, interesting?
Great write.
I can sense the beginning of something here.
Something good, that is.
Awesome job.

[Farrah Grahm]

excuse, me, I meant counsilor. that should be counselor.
:-)

[Farrah Grahm]

okay, I have to do this.
grammar mistakes, except and coincidental are both wrong .except should be accept. But those are the two i notice, also a capitol I needs to be switched for the i. I think that's all, but you can go through and edit on your own.
Also, this is a case of learning to show, not tell. There's a lot of telling, and as an introduction, that is necessary, but a little more showing would be nice.

Other than that, I like the premise. It's a good start, and I look forward to reading the rest--u sent me a read request for murderer and i just HAD to read all the previous chapters!

[Martina]

W-o-w intense but excellent
It was about feeling, loss and so much more, your a true writer.

[Caitlin.]

The first thing I thought was 'Isabella = Twilight'. I don't mind, I just hope that he doesn't end up having the name of another character in Twilight and isn't a Vampire.
When you said 'councilors' I think that you meant counselor. A councilor works for the government ;).
You have good writing talent though =).