Broken

Why
why are we so broken
why do we let the small things in life bring us down
why do we let the big things overcome us so easily.
why do kids in the hallways of my high school cut
why do they put themselfs in more pain
all i am asking is why

last year, i had a friend who i loved she was the best friend a girl could ask for.
she was bullied, cruel words were thrown at her and hateful names stabbed into her.
she came close to cuting, she ask another how it was supposed to be done over this very site.
i saw it and took no hesitation to lock myself in the bathroom, a razer accesible, and call her
i told her i loved her, i told her how beutiful sh was, how those horrible people didnt know what they were saying
i also made her a promise that night. i was on the floor in tears and i told her i couldnt make it if i found a single cut on her arm. i made her a promis that i would cut if she did.

another friend cut while living with her mom. i didnt see her for a year. i got on here and saw her stories of when she cut, the times, where, and how she cut. it tore at me. a couple of days ago i found more cuts on her arm. she had stopped for a while, and i was so proud of her. now i see more.

there is another guy in my PE. he is funny and seems so happy. i found long cuts on his arm. ii didnt mention it but it yanked at my heart.

i found out today another of my friends almost took a suicidal dose of pills. luckily, she was talked out of it.


why do i almost cut for a friend, why do these things bring me to tears and make these thoughts come to me? because. when its someone i know, someone i love, i feel im not doing enouph. i blame myself and it tears me apart. i find myself break with every little cut. i feel i can do more, that im not a good enouph friend, that im not enouph to stop them, i cant be their ray of sunshine i sometimes think i am. i am in tars writing this but ive bottled it up inside and its changing me. im quieter, recluse, i dont want these friends who hurt themselfs near me. i push away these thoughs and carry on. but i hate being alone and i hate the silence because it gives me the chance to think and i beat myself up and it takes everything i have not to cry during school.
i wish i could stop the pain
but i cant.

im just me
a silly girl who dreams to change the world
my dreams all rediculous
i wish i could just tell them all they are beutiful
help them believe that it isnt necisary.
to show them that everyone else were wrong.

if you cant see anything beutiful about yourself, get a better mirror
look a little closer
stare a little longer
because there is something inside you that is beutiful
and they were wrong
you were wrong
pain isnt the answer and suicide destroys those around you

we are all beutiful
we arnt what they say we are
we will make it through
we will become graduated members of the class of we made it!



please, for those who know me dont bring this little rant up at school, i really dont want to talk about it.

Reviews

[Oswald Chesterfield Cob..]

This is so well written, you have a great talent for poetry :) Hope to read more by you soon

[Ceilidh Hamm]

this is amazing by the end i was tearing up

[Sami Khalil]

I hope you are ok...A splendid read and write...:).........................

[Jan]

I'm crying...hug pwease... *holds arms out to you*

[Kadessa (Kaddy)]

*hugs, nearly crushes* sorry, I had been holding that all in and you know how I get. Needed to rant and get that weight off my shoulders

[Jan]

*hides my face in your shoulder* I'm sorry for putting you in my pool of problems...

[Kadessa (Kaddy)]

Trust me, its not you thats making life hard right now

[Jan]

Okay, but I still just wanted to apologize for it. If you are ever need to talk when you're stressed, you know who to talk too

[Izabe143]

Kadessa… r u ok? I know how it feels to have a friend do that…

[Kadessa (Kaddy)]

Yea, just struggleing

[Izabe143]

You know you could always talk to me