Old Love, New Views

A Chapter by Kadessa (Kaddy)

Sorry its gotten to where i dont post very often. i have been insanely busy.

Chapter 25~ Old Love, New views

“So, did you sleep at all last night?” Bella asks, handing me a cup of coffee over the bar like counter. I sit on a stool and take the cup in both hands, inhaling the warming sent. She leans hr arms on the counter, her own cup in hand, watching me.

“Well I stared at the dress for a long log time.” I say, remembering the lace princess gown that I got yesterday. It’s only been a month since the guys left and I haven’t been sleeping well. Yesterday, we went dress shopping, as in wedding dress shopping. It’s weird how I am only 18 and I am going to get married. “I finally fell asleep….” I trail off, preferring to keep the details of my dreams private.

“Care to share?” she asks, raising an eyebrow. We still both wear pajamas. While her hair lies messily, I have mine up in a just as messy bun.

“I just dreamt of a few nights before the guys left.” I said, looking down at my cup. But that’s not it. I was in tears in the bathroom because one “fans” death threats and insults. Niall, who dealt with the fan before chasing after me, had pulled on the locked door. He found a pin to unlock the door and came in quietly. He slowly closed the door behind him and knelt to the floor in front of me. I sat, criss-cross, on the (closed) toilet and cover my face with my hands. He took my wrists and pulled my hands down, and looked into my eyes. He quickly wrapped his arms around me, pulling mine up to his neck. He stood up and turned, sitting so I was in his lap. ‘Don’t listen to her’ he had told me ‘she is saying those things to get to you.’ then I got the you are beautiful and I love you speech. Afterwards we kissed, and watched a movie, but then it went farther than before.

“What’s that smile for?” Bella asks, craning her neck to look at me.

“nothing.” Is all I say, my face going dead serious. I avoid eye contact, but when I finally do look up, I can’t help but laugh.

Bella

I sit alone in the living room. I assume Kadessa is staring at her dress again. Jace comes in and falls onto the couch uncomfortably close. We sit in awkward silence for what seems to be forever.

“You know, I’ve missed you. It’s been what, five and a half years?” he says, looking down at me. His soft golden brown eyes meet mine and suddenly I feel like im twelve again.

“Ya,” I snap myself back to reality. I am with Liam. He loves me and I love him.

“You know, I the last six years I have dated so many girls with so many personalities. I’ve dated blondes, brunets, redheads.” He pauses, looking down at his hands.

“What is it Jace? You know you can talk to me.” I sit up, leaning forward.

“Isabella, I still love you.” I stare at him in shock and he keeps his head down like he is ashamed. “I dream about the early mornings we would get up, just to enjoy time with each other. When I am dating other girls, I find myself comparing them to you. And none of them come close to your beauty and perfection.”

“Jace, that was years ago. I was only twelve, you were only fourteen. W have changed, grown, found who we really are.” Jace looks up at me; his brown eyes brimmed with tears.

“Bella, I am still in love with you. I can’t get you out of my head and you are the only girl I think about.” He I now to the point I feel like he is bagging for his life.

“Jace, I am with Liam, we are happy.” I tell him.

“You hardly know him. You two haven’t even kissed. He is on tour where there will be millions of girls dying for a chance with him. He is going to get sucked in and forget about you. Bella, I will be loyal, I will always be loyal I love you and only you. He will find someone else and you will mean nothing to him.” Jace’s words dig deep into me and I feel my heart start to break.

“No, Liam loves me.” I say more to myself than to Jace.

“Has he told you that?” I shake my head sadly and slowly. “Then how do you know. To him you could be no more than just another fan.” His words sink in, doubt settling deep into me. I fl tears sting my eyes. “Hey, don’t cry, please, don’t cry.” Jace says, quickly moving to sit on the coffee table in front of me. He takes my hands in his. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. I just don’t trust these stars. They are always the center of drama and Kadessa has already been sucked into that. She is having trouble but I think she can handle it. Niall loves her and she loves him and I know he will stay loyal to her. I don’t know about Liam though. He has always been seen as the good guy but I don’t trust him. I don’t want to see you hurt.” We sit, my hands in his, staring into each other’s eyes. He leans in and his soft lips grace mine. I remember all the times we kissed all those years ago. They come to me in a rush, along with all those feelings. He leans out of the kiss and I jerk forward, kissing him once again. We lean back slightly so only our foreheads touch.

“I forgot how much I loved you. I’ve never realized how much I miss you.” I whisper. A smile graces my lips as my heart flutters with love. I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. We both jerk our heads up and jump to sit casually on the couch. Lately Kadessa has been so tired, she trudges down the stairs. When we had dated years ago, w kept it a secret from her, dating your best friend’s brother usually ruined the friendship. When she had eventually found out, she was furious with us. She was heartbroken that we would lie to her, and even had told us she was now truly alone in this fucked up world. It killed me to see that pain and anger in her eyes. She comes down and falls into the empty space on the couch between Jace and I.

“So bell, I was thinking that we should go to into town and start looking at bridesmaid dresses for you and the girls.” She says with a smile. Niall told her that he got two vacation days in a month and a half and wants to fly home and get married. They plan on getting married and her finishing tour with them. Then honeymoon after tour is over. “We have to go start trying cakes to.”

“Ok and we have to start making out the guest list.” I remind her. “Not only that but caterers will line up to have a chance to be the caterers of the biggest wedding of the year.”

“Biggest wedding of the year?” she asks me, her brows rising.

“Ya, remember how Hazel was there when Niall proposed and how she recorded it, posting it on face book for the whole world to see.” She nods. “Well, ever since that they say it will be the biggest wedding of the year. You’ll need an army to keep the fans and paparazzi out.”

“I hadn’t even thought about that.” she says. He phone goes off in her pocket to Niall's solo in little things; she jumps up and answers it, walking into the kitchen.

“Bella, Liam’s on the phone to and wants to talk to you.” she yells from the kitchen. I jump up to go talk to him but Jace grabs my wrist, pulling me around to steal one more soft loving kiss. My cheeks burn with blush before I turn and run off into the kitchen. Kadessa hands me the phone and I almost feel guilty talking like nothing just happened.

“Hey Liam.” I say a little too happily into the phone.

“Hey Bells.” He says happily. “I’ve missed you.” he says and my mind goes straight to Jace, who has missed me. “Hey, are you there?”

“Ya, sorry I just have a lot on my mind trying to help Kadessa throw together the perfect wedding. I just can’t wait to see you again.” I say, but my heart fights beck, telling me I need to end this.

“Ok, well Niall is dying to talk to Kadessa again, so im gonna give him the phone back. Bye beautiful.” With that I hand Kadessa the phone and leave to give her some privacy. I walk into a now empty living room and trudge up the stairs to my room. I fall onto my bed and scream into a pillow. My heart is at war and feels like it’s in half, one for Jace and the other for Liam. I rage a war inside myself and can’t even think strait because of it.

I love Jace; I love Liam; im starting to hate myself.

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