Breaking Perception

I've squandered a slew of time pondering perceptions of others, enslaved by negative thinking, isolating myself in an inescapable, self imposed life sentence of anxiety and fear. I've hidden from adventure, foregone new experiences and strayed away from meaningful relationships , under the misguided pretense of self preservation. Lost, befuddled, and afraid of scrutiny manufactured by ailing self concept that prevented me from interaction with others. Mind racing, palms sweating, dissecting the actions of those around me, was how I lived. Simple daily tasks were a life alter experience, debilitating me mentally and physically.

Mind, shrouded in paranoia.

Mind ,ever revolving round and round.

Mind, wreaking havoc on my conscience.

Mind, restricting decisions.

Mind, challenging itself and questioning existence.

Mind, feeble and weak. Mind, wondering "Will I ever be normal?"

Tired, worn down, I've lost the energy to keep up the charade, surrender is my only escape. I must give up this endless pursuit of perfection,  understand that you cannot please everyone, have compassion for others who may be encountering similar circumstances, admit that I have a problem and convince myself that I'm capable of change.

Dynamism is my destiny.