I hate myself for everything I said to you. I wasn't myself. NO, that doesn't excuse it I am aware, but I want you to know I never meant it......NEVER. I don't want things to continue being this sour and grim between us. We both put far too much into the friendship, into this well whatever you want to call this unlabeled love connection that we share to have things end here, and like this. I was hurt and I hurt you. I was jealous, mad, beyond envious of her and I wanted you to feel my pain. I acted like a selfish over-dramatic brat and it's because I still have some maturing to do. I have heard sense the fight/parting between us you have become better. I wish I could overall say the same about myself but inside, well I'm broken. My mental state has improved significantly due to nonstop various therapeutic methods but nothing will ever change that emptiness that remains. That cold, lifeless feeling inside me without my best friend, without my other half.
It's always hard to admit you're wrong, and even harder to admit immaturity played a big part in your actions and reactions. It means you are gaining maturity. My mother always had an interesting theory about best friends of the opposite sex. They either marry or part forever because of other people. She ended up married to hers despite almost no contact for a year because of a misunderstanding. My sister ended up paying from hers. They both married other people.and parted ways, no longer staying in touch.
It's hard to say how things will go because people have different views and bounties they put in friendship and emotions. An olive branch is always needed too patch things up. This is a good start.
If it doesn't work out, remember, the human heart has a huge capacity for love, and each is different and special in its own way. Sometimes the person you think is meant for you, is only meant for that youthful self.
This brings back memories of a very similar situation that I went through...We eventually became friends again but no more than that. But, I know this pain and it is evident in your writing. I feel that pain anew as I read this. Well done, Kie
It's always hard to admit you're wrong, and even harder to admit immaturity played a big part in your actions and reactions. It means you are gaining maturity. My mother always had an interesting theory about best friends of the opposite sex. They either marry or part forever because of other people. She ended up married to hers despite almost no contact for a year because of a misunderstanding. My sister ended up paying from hers. They both married other people.and parted ways, no longer staying in touch.
It's hard to say how things will go because people have different views and bounties they put in friendship and emotions. An olive branch is always needed too patch things up. This is a good start.
If it doesn't work out, remember, the human heart has a huge capacity for love, and each is different and special in its own way. Sometimes the person you think is meant for you, is only meant for that youthful self.