My Only True Fear

My biggest fear is loosing you

Honestly I wouldn't know what to do

Speaking truthfully I'd follow

And take my own life,

You are my support

My family

The only one to understand me

The only one to make me smile 

Even when the look of disappointment or anger is tattooed on my face 

The only one to make me feel

The only one to help me see

The only one I listen to

The only one who I seem to deeply hurt

Even though its always the last things I would ever want to do

More than anything, I want to make you happy, help you heal, but I'm not enough, I'm never enough, no matter how hard I try, and even when you say it will be ok, I know it's only a lie, and you will still kill yourself someday,

I wish to make you feel the way you make me feel,

I can't make you feel anything, no matter how much I'd like you to, but even then I wouldn't want it because it wouldn't be you feeling it on your own, it wouldn't be the same, it wouldn't feel the same, it wouldn't feel right for either if us, 

No,

The only guy I can trust,

The person to restore my faith in humanity,

You taught me how to trust again,

How to feel again,

How to see again,

beyond myself,

How to love and to care,

and to truly be me,

Never viewing me as an object for your own pleasure or something to use for your own gain, you raised me up, even while I dragged you down, you told me I wasn't a w***e, while I sat there on the ground, clothes hanging off my body torn, tears streaming down my cheeks still red from the beating I received by the man I had just been with, purple and green spreading across my skin, marks from digging in, all over from him, you kissed them on my skin lightly, you held me gently, before I found out it was all a lie,

..........You threw me on the bed, marking my skin, nails running down my soft flesh, blood dripping down my pale flesh, thick fingers down my throat gagging my pleads, body on mine, no consent,

    taking me,

hating me,

breaking me,

       Now you are gone........

Author's Note

I know its long and choppy, my apologies. I know its not very good

Reviews

[R J Askew]

Intense stuff and sustained. It reads like a song lyric at times ... this bit reminded me of some lyrics by The Cure ..

More than anything, I want to make you happy, help you heal, but I'm not enough, I'm never enough, no matter how hard I try, and even when you say it will be ok, I know it's only a lie, and you will still kill yourself someday,

[Riley]

I appreciate your feedback 💖 I’m flattered

[wordman]

sounds like love to me,great expressions

[terry smith]

It is very good!!!but who am I to judge I can't even get my grass to grow,lolol...this piece speaks volumes!!!