Used to Know A Girl

about a girl i once knew

I used to know a girl, whose smile was contagious.
Her laugh was always pure, but you could still hear the sadness she hid in each breath.
I used to know a girl, she swept me off my feet, made me feel like heaven, as if I was her's to complete.
This girl made me feel things, I never thought I could.
Emotions truly foreign to me, as well as indescribable, beyond ones belief.
This girl was an angel, one I though from above.
Protecting me, and saving me, with every kiss and touch.
The angel part was right, but her origins I had mistaken.
She came not from heaven but from the dark world down under.
A magician in faking love and manipulation was her craft.
A master of all evil, she honestly had a knack.
Before I even knew, she had me on a string.
Wrapped around her finger, I was tied in a sling.
She pulled each of my feelings, the ultimate puppet master.
Winding up this jack in the box, so she would be my master.

Reviews

[Brian Csati]

Very profound! I enjoy poetry that tells a story on a deeply emotional level. I can feel the intense mixture of emotions as well. Maybe edit your poem a little more, e.g. "The angel part was right, but her origins I had mistaken." I would simplify it to, "The angel part was right, but her origins mistaken." I think you have great potential as a writer! Keep up the good work,

-Brian Csati

[Chris]

I paused here. One distraction: "This girl was an angel, one I though from above." -thought?

I thought of some I myself had known - good and solid depiction.

[terry smith]

be careful they say the friends you choose if they always have to win they are nothing to lose.