Distance

She's crossing borders,

leaving behind others,

barely betraying her hesitation

as she blinks.

He is listening to the music of last winter,

her face tied to the songs and notes

that changed frost to dew.

Hearing her voice in his veins again

is disconcerting;

it's been months since

he dreamed of her last,

but dormant feelings have arisen,

terrified that she is disappearing.

She holds someone else's hand,

following him to another state,

another life.

All those words,

all those smiles--

could they be now forgotten?

He stares at the paper,

but words cannot contain

the blood pounding in his temples

or the frantic thrashing of his heart.

Every sentence is weak and empty--

A visceral moan of pain and loss

drags itself from his throat.

He tries to write again.

but all that appears

is her name.

Nothing about her is changed;

how can he allow this to simply evaporate?

Her departure is inexorably approaching,

but she cannot continue

in oblivious ignorance.

Perhaps she could even provide

a modicum of reciprocation..

With a burst of self-loathing,

the tears turn to flames.

Anger at his apathy, his fear,

churns his stomach into a pit of despair

and burning hatred

and simmering disgust.

Useless.

These hands,

this heart--

what good are they, if they will not obey

his commands?

How could she not have noticed

every clandestine compliment,

every sentence laced with tacit affection?

All the obfuscated attempts at openness,

every half smile that hid layer

upon layer

of longing--

and now she walks away,

leaving their connection behind.

A tear blurs the ink,

and she puts her pen away.

All she could write is his name, anyways--

the words refused to stumble from her

trembling fingers.

She wonders if he ever felt the same,

if he will wish she never left.

The thought burns in her chest,

painfully,

like a white hot coal.

Reviews

[Skoo.]

Jesus Ben, I forgot how amazing your writing actually is...
I swear I say that every time I come back to WC, but it's still true.

I like how this is effectively another "he loves her, she loves him, neither of them know the other likes them, they're sad because they're not together" thing, but it by far exceeds any normal teen-angsty poop. The description, the vocabulary and all that stuff... It's brilliant.

Nice to see you haven't lost your touch (: