I Bite My Tongue

Deep in my gut,

I can feel the infection

Of rancid remorse

Linger like a leaden

Weight.

To keep it hidden,

Concealed,

Is to allow the putrescent mass

To fester malignantly--

But if I was to vomit forth

This fetid guilt,

You would be repulsed

And revolted;

I would lose you

Forever.

The pain is nearly

Unbearable.

Reviews

[FJ Davis]

The poet has created an untenable situation. There appears to be no way out. When confronted with such a dilemma, it is best to question premises. I won't go through all of that; you can do it as well as anyone.
I'll only say, gambling on the love and compassion of your girlfriend (I must assume) whom you've apparently "sinned against"--the person you once chose, in all likelihood, for possessing, among many others, these very virtues--seems to be your best bet. Illness, depression or worse are the other possibilities.
While this may well be yet another creative expression of teenage angst, the piece must be addressed on the basis of what it proposes.
An extremely well-written, literally gut-wrenching piece, I might add.

[The]

This is pretty decent. You don't allow the reader to know what caused the sentiment and the explication of having such a sentiment is pretty decent. I'd suggest erasing concealed and editing out the comma after hidden to create a more rhythmic read, as it would increase the flow of the poem.

I know it's free verse, but better free verse has better use of linebreaks. Perhaps edit where you choose to end each line to create a better read. But nicely done nonetheless.

Best of luck to you with your future writings.

--CB