The Filth Beneath Our Nails

Another angst-y addition.

"The center of my chest is as lead--"

I can feel the blistering drip

Of dissatisfaction as it sears its way

Through my arteries;

I attempt to dwell on other things,

But my heart is being blackened

And shriveled.

"Uncomfortable, heavy, dense--"

It is as if a line,

Held by the yellowed hands

Of misery himself,

Is pulling my lungs towards the floor,

Causing my blood to flow more slowly,

More thickly.

"Overflowing with molten remorse,"

The inside of my skin,

Of every aspect of my person,

Is being internally casted,

Preventing any attempted change

To return to the way

Thing used to be.

"And slowly hardening laments."

Author's Note

There's one rhyming stanza broken up in quotes that I just placed randomly in the poem.

Reviews

[FJ Davis]

Malignant dissatisfaction, diversion-less lock-in, emotionlessness, misery and longterm remorse--the prognosis is not encouraging. It will take you a few more years to pull out of this almost rabid teenage angst.
Then, of course, you will be besieged with the equally debilitating problems of a young adult.
Typically well-written, Ben, and crackling with unique images.

[festus]

I like it. I think it's very well balanced and paced. I also like the echoing quotes.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A perfectly timed piece, well done, great read.

[Angela H.]

This is good, Ben. Dissatisfaction searing through one's arteries....that's not just a good line, it feels real and true. Sometimes, as we get caught in our wordsmithery (is that a word?), we lose touch with what feels really true. It takes patience, maturity, and a mean editor/left brain to hack away the flourishes and leave only the pristine truth. Are you happy with it? Is there any more tightening to do?

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

I love the way you personified unhappiness! Amazingly creative; I'd never thought of it in a physical form before. I didn't understand the function of the quotes until I reached the author's note, but after reading through again, I like what you did with that.

[Lily Mae]

I could feel this one deeply.. Your expression of his lament pulls you in deeper and deeper as you read on..x Great write...xx

[Coyote Poetry]

I like your words. Direct and powerful statement made this poem a pleasure to read.
"But my heart is being blackened
And shriveled.
"Uncomfortable, heavy, dense--"
Hard to return from where we came. The road can get twisted. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote