Propulsion

A fairly obvious metaphor outlining the reoccurring theme of life's continual degradation.

Bourne along ceaselessly
Tirelessly, effortlessly.
New growth and sunlight matures,
Weightless and pure.

Aimlessly a drifting eddy,
The water sparkles around me,
But I am not absorbed by it,
I live but do not die in it.

Ambient and penetrating,
The impetus of the ocean,
Expands and surrounds me,
A perfect extension of the sea.

The unwavering prismatic rays,
Exploding a kaleidoscope of colour.
Salty tendrils urge me further,
To where the water's cleaner, purer.

The river curls itself around,
The quenching route undertaken.
Refreshing and sating,
Colder and awakening.

Frigid tendrils intermixed,
Ease my sun dried satisfaction.
Copacetic and complacent,
An eddy where the current takes it.

Probing and prodding,
Coaxing from me my excess warmth,
The sun still shines,
Albeit less brightly.

Shrivelled and waterlogged,
My digits display their confusion.
The occasional shiver shakes,
While passing 'round these peaks and lakes.

The shifting waters narrow and tighten,
The banks heighten with impenetrability.
The sweet coniferous smell,
Deceptively whispers, all is well.

The water's hue has subtly changed,
A frigid brown has tinged the tint.
The river bottom allocating force,
To the water near its source.

Frothy now with frost trimmed rapids,
The sunlight slanted and obscure,
Numbness creeping towards my limbs,
The siren rock sharp banks, they sing.

The cloudy crystals buffet me,
Overcast with icy caskets.
The surface a distant horizon,
I forget the way to carry on.

The salty brine escapes my lips,
That trust I'd held, wasted.
The perfect warmth that I rode,
Gave up hope until I froze.

Reviews

[Poeticadia]

I like the progression of this poem as it flows down river... exploring the metaphor... with a gradual drop in temperature and loss of sensation that leads to the last line. The rhyme scheme is unusual and wonderfully unobtrusive and the sounds sit well on the tongue.

[Judy Ponceby]

Brilliant. :) Vivid powerful images. tinged the tint....hmmmm. :)

[Ravyne Hawke]

I love the use of water as a metaphor for the degradation of this world. Your use of imagery is beautiful, the alliterations eloquently done. Visually, the rhyming does nothing for me, but reading the poem aloud, even though all stanzas do not have rhyme in them, your words are still pleasing to the ear. Very well done.