PART 3,CHAPTER 6, of RFV.

                       SIX

 

    The predictions of Thropely, Stan and poor Arthur very quickly came true. No sooner had the Germans taken over the pits when they started taking over Klyzemadex, bit by bit. Since coal was the planet’s most valuable commodity, anybody without a job was being forced to work in the mines whether they wanted to or not. It was time to go.

    Supper a couple of weeks later therefore was the last supper. The Chef de la Maison, Madame Doris Grime, had surpassed herself with a mouth-watering creation of alien’s brain on toast.

    After supper and retired to the lounge and pipe going to his satisfaction, Thropely told Roger their plans

    “We all have t’ leave Klyzemadex, lad,” he said. “You as well.”

    “Christ on the shitter! I’ve only just got here!” retorted Roger, clapping a hand to his mouth.

    They all laughed.

    “Still sayin things ye don’t want to, eh lad?” asked Thropely

    Roger nodded.

    “Told ye that would happen, love,” said Doris. “Yer bein punished for complainin about yer role. Now d’ye believe me?”

    Roger nodded again, a worried look on his face.

    “Tell lad our plan,” said Stan.

    “We’ve decided t’ leave wi you on your Ship,” Thropely told him.

    “With me!? Haven’t you got your own Ship?” Roger asked, surprised that he’d actually said something he’d wanted to.

    “Nae lad. We burned it when we landed. Symbolic gesture like. Ah’m only half-way through buildin another.”

    “We’re all goin t’ go disguised as miners,” Stan told him.

    “Dressed in old clothes and blacked up wi coal dust,” added Thropely.

    “An Ah’ve knitted us nice swastika armbands,” said Doris, holding one up.

    “But why should we leave?” Roger asked.

    “Germans!” spat Thropely

    “F****n Krauts!” spat Stan.

    “They’ve taken over at pits,” went on Thropely, “an like poor Arthur said, they’ve started takin over planet.”

    “So how does that affect us?”

    “Well they’ll force everybody t’ talk german for a start,” explained Thropely.

    “Aye, then they’ll force ye t’ talk german even when yer at home,” added Stan.

    “And this sullied english language will melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew,” said Doris poetically.

    “Aye, ye’ve summed up all us feelins there, our lass,” said Thropely.

    “Then they’ll take younger folk like you an even Wilf an force ye t’ work down pit,” said Stan

    “Like hell they will!” drawled the dead John Wayne.

    Thropely laughed. “Oh they’ll do it, lad,” he told him, “an if ye don’t go they’ll shoot ye.”

    “I think we should leave immediately!” said Roger. “Where’s the coal dust!?”

    The others laughed.

    “Me an Wilf are stayin behind!” Valory announced dramatically.

    “Oh no!” wailed Doris. “Whatever for, our Valory?” she asked.

    “We’ve talked it over an we’re goin t’ start resistance movement,” Valory told her. “Join up wi other rebels an live in hills sharin english language an keepin it alive.”

    “Aye, we’ll ambush Krauts an force ’em t’ speak english!” piped up Wilf.

    “An infiltrate German Army offices an leave english novels an dictionaries lyin round,” added Valory

    “Aye an when the Krauts catch ye they’ll paddle both yer arses!” said Stan, grinning.

    “Ah was out for shoppin today an they’ve started havin checkpoints,” said Doris.

    “Have they, lass?” said Thropely. “That’s a worry.”

    “Why are they doing that?” asked Roger.

    “Folks are tryin t’ leave Klyzemadex,” explained Thropely, “so anybody caught wanderin around has t’ have papers sayin who they are an what job they do.”

    Stan grinned. “So me an Thropely have been busy forgin papers for us all.”

    “Ah wondered what you two were up to in spare room these past few nights,” said Doris.

    “Forgin papers,” said Thropely, winking at Stan.

    “An probably shaggin them inflatable Filipino women from Stan’s Sex Shop as well!” said the astute Doris.

    “Me an Wilf stole originals,” a proud Valory told them all.

    Roger frowned. “You stole the original inflatable Filipino women?” he asked.

    Valory laughed. “Nae, the original papers! So forgeries could be made.”

    “Oh,” said Roger. ‘And that’s why I hate my role,’ he thought to himself.

    “Right lad, best get an early night,” Thropely told him. “We’re leavin first thing in mornin.”

    “We’ll get disguises on an pretend we’re travellin miners goin t’ next pit,” said Stan.

    “We can go through woods t’ your Ship, love,” Doris added. “Where ye first met me. Remember?”

    “Christ it was only two weeks ago!” shot back Roger. “Think I’ve got a memory like a f*****g sieve!? Course I know where my buggering Ship is!”

    Roger clapped his hand over his mouth, they all laughed and headed off to bed.