Part 2, Chapter 7, of RFV.

SEVEN

 

    Not for the first time in his life and certainly not for the last, Roger was stunned. “My God! That was a, that was a--”

    “Land mine!” Hub Cap finished for him, laughing.

    “Yes, a land mine,” Roger agreed. “Well that was pretty gruesome.”

    “Hell, the bro jus protectin his land,” said Hub Cap.

    “But I thought Uhuruland was a democracy?”

    “Well, bits of it is an bits of it ain’t.”

    “The bits of those youths floating in the river probably don’t think it’s a democracy.”

    Hub Cap laughed. “Hey, that was pretty good, Roga!”

    Roger grinned. “I still don’t understand. Why was Clarence using land mines?”

    “Well Clarence grows the best ganja on Uhurulan. Them bad asses always tryin to steal it. So he jus protectin his crop. Seems fair to me.”

    “Hmm. Well I suppose if you look at it that way then it is. What is this ganja anyway?”

    “It’s a plant, bro. A beautiful plant. You mix some of it wit tobacco an smoke it.”

    “And what does it do?”

    “Gets you high, man! Floatin. Mellow. Things change. Specially sex.”

    Roger frowned. “Well that won’t change for me,” he complained. “I’m not getting any.”

    “You can try some lata.”

    “What, sex or ganja?”

    Hub Cap laughed and slapped him on the back. “Actually, bro �" both!”

    Roger smiled a big smile. “Really!? Why that’s terrific!”

    Chatting away, the two of them strolled on and soon reached the small town.

    “Well this is New Harlem, bro,” Hub Cap told Roger. “We callin it afta the old Harlem back on Eart.”

    Roger looked round. Tatty run-down shops, tatty run-down roads, tatty run-down people. ‘New Harlem?’ he thought. ‘More like Run-Down Harlem.’ He didn’t want to offend Hub Cap however so he nodded politely. “Yes, it’s very nice,” he said, lying convincingly.

    “Shua is!” Hub Cap said, grinning. “This is whea the regula folks live. Back in the village the bros likes to be close to natcha. In town hea, the bros likes to be close to all the amenities, like.”

    “Oh yes? Like what?”

    “You know, topless joints, strip clubs, p***y parlours, blue move houses, sex shops, gambling joints, bars, liquor stores, good weed…oh, an groceries.”

    Harlem was indeed as Hub Cap had described. As Roger looked round more closely he could see shop after shop with sex toys, blue movies and various types of skimpy female underwear in the windows.

    Next to these were strip clubs and topless bars, closed till darkness fell. A couple of gambling joints had opened for early customers and the liquor stores and bars were already busy. Oh and a couple of people were buying groceries.

    A few folk stopped and stared at Roger the White Man but Hub Cap waved to them, knowing practically everyone on Uhuruland and nobody bothered them.

    “Tells you what, my man, lets you and me take a turn down W****s Alley. Know some foxy chicks down there. Should be able to fix you up.”

    Roger immediately brightened. “Let’s go then!” he enthused.

    Hub Cap grinned and they strolled on.

    As they turned round a corner in the main street and began walking down a side street they came across two small boys who were fighting. One was on the ground and the other was standing on top of him.

    “Hey Toxteth!” Hub Cap admonished the victor. “Quit fightin wit you brutha. Git off him, man.”

    Toxteth hesitated then stepped off his sibling victim.

    Hub Cap cuffed him on the head. “I’s told you befoa,” he reprimanded him, “never to stand on Ceremony.”

    Toxteth ran off and Hub Cap helped Ceremony to his feet and dusted him off. He slipped him some coins and his tear-stained face brightened then he too ran off.

    Roger and Hub Cap strolled on. Further down the street, one club was already open despite it only being late afternoon. Gaudy lights proclaimed it as ‘The Soft-Hearted W****s Club’. A couple of scantily clad ladies were standing outside.

    “Well lookee hea!” called Hub Cap as they approached them. “If’n it aint Lusty Lelle and Dusky Delle! Two of the foxiest chicks on Uhurulan!”

    Both tarts were dressed eye-catchingly in high heels, stockings, suspenders, thongs and tiny bras. They looked rather fetching.

    “My my! If it ain’t that ole horn-bag Hub Cap!” said Lusty Lelle.

    “An who in the hell’s this wite boy!?” asked Dusky Delle.

    “This hea is my man Roga,” Hub Cap intro’d.

    “Delighted to meet you,” said the Horny One, appreciatively eyeing how the ladies were dressed…or nearly dressed.

    “Look at him checkin out the merchandise!” said Lusty Lelle.

    Dusky Delle sashayed over to him and slipped an arm round his waist. “You lookin for action, wite boy?”

    “Well I most certainly am,” a slightly flustered Roger answered. “The trouble is however that I don’t seem to have any money with me.”

    Dusky Delle pretended hurt. “You suggestin we chargin for lovin!?” she asked.

    Hub Cap sniggered. “You chargin by the inch!” he said.

    Lusty Lelle laughed.

    “That bein the case,” Dusky Delle drawled, “I wouldn’t be chargin you very much!”

    They all laughed. Roger laughed too but it was mainly because he was near half-naked attractive young women and he wanted to appear cool.

    “So let me explain bout my bro,” Hub Cap said, throwing an arm round Roger’s shoulder. “He getting dragged down to Uhurulan cos he comin too close by mistake in his Ship. Now they goin to execute him cos he’s a white boy. So this the last time he can get laid.”

    “They executin him jus cos he’s wite?” asked Lusty Lelle. “Well that ain’t fair.”

    “No it ain’t.” agreed Dusky Delle, stamping her foot indignantly.

    Roger appreciatively eyed how she wobbled wonderfully as she did so.

    “Big Lucas behind this, ain’t he?” asked Lusty Lelle.

    “Who else?” said Hub Cap. “Him bein the Main Man hea.”

    “Well it still ain’t fair,” went on Lusty Lelle. “This po boy don’t look like he don’t do no-one no harm no time.”

    Roger nodded in agreement then shook his head in agreement then nodded in agreement again then started to get dizzy and gave up.

    “Well it’s happenin in about an hour,” Hub Cap told them. “So we has to get Roga hea laid fo the last time. Least we can do fo the bro.”

    The two ladies of the night, or rather, late afternoon, whispered together.

    “We knows just the gal for him,” announced Dusky Delle.

    “An who might that be?”

    “Angel Delight,” Lusty Lelle told him.

    Roger nodded appreciatively at the name.

    Dusky Delle sashayed over to the Club entrance. “Angel Delight!” she yelled. “Get you black a*s out hea! We has action fo you!”

    Roger grinned. Angel Delight. Even the name made his member quiver in anticipation.

    The ladies grinned. So did Hub Cap.

    Angel Delight appeared. She might have been an angel thirty years ago but she was no delight now. She was about fifty and maybe half that in stones. The grey hair didn’t help. Nor the one arm. She squinted at Roger through her one good eye. Then smiled at him. Her teeth were like a row of burned fence posts.

    Roger’s mouth dropped open. His member, previously all a-quiver, ceased quivering. “But…but…but,” he but’d.

    The others fell about laughing.

    “Relax, bro!” Hub Cap told him. “This ain’t the one for you. This Angel Delight, the cleanin lady.”

    The others laughed again.

    “We’s only jiving wit you, Roga!” Lusty Lelle told him. “I knows jus the gal fo you. Why it’s Scabby Sue. She just adores wite boys.”

    ‘Scabby Sue?’ thought Roger. ‘Hmm, doesn’t sound promising.’

    Lusty Lelle went over to the Club door and called her. A minute later she appeared.

    She was in her mid-twenties. Exquisite golden brown skin. Jet black hair to her shoulders. She curved in all the right places and didn’t curve in the wrong ones. She was a beauty and her tight clothes clung to her like they were afraid she’d leave them.

    At the sight of this sexy young beauty and with the welcoming thought of coitus-non-interruptus floating through his head, Randy Roger began tenting in advance.

    Dusky Delle noticed. “Is that a gun in your pocket or you just pleased t’ see her!?” she asked.

    The others hee-hawed.

    The bold Roger grinned. “It’s a gun,” he replied. “And it doesn’t fire blanks!”

     A sexy smile appeared on Scabby Sue’s sexy face and she sashayed sexily over to Roger. “My my! A white boy!” she purred and ran her fingers through his thinning black hair. “Ain’t had a treat like this since we leavin Earth.”

    Roger grinned and slipped an arm round her waist. “Me neither,” he admitted.

    Hub Cap grinned at Roger. “You go wit the sista then, bro. She’ll take care of y’all. Wait fo me here when you’s done. I’s goin to see Clarence an get me some fine weed.”

    Roger nodded but his mind was elsewhere. And so was his right hand. As he used it to guide Scabby Sue’s exquisite a*s over towards the Club door.

    “Ah well, least he gonna get to come before he goes!” remarked Dusky Delle.

    The others laughed as Randy Roger and Scabby Sue disappeared inside the Club.