Raw thought

I've been told I have a good heart. In my head I completely doubt it, I am the only one who knows the thoughts I have. I was told I'm an amazing friend, but that is not always so encouraging. Sometimes I get angry at them for no reason and I just feel evil inside. I know I'm a good person, or at least I would like to say I am, but my depression and anxiety get in the way. I hate it. It's not me, I'm not a terrible person. I just don't realize when I'm doing good and dwell on when I'm doing bad. Does everyone do that? Why can I type it out but I can't make myself believe it? I'm such a mess. I can give advice all day but I can never take my own. Why does my mind have to work like this? I have all of these thoughts and cares piled on my chest and it is starting to get quite heavy, I feel as if I can't breath sometimes. My mind is so cluttered with all of my worries, I shouldn't be like this, I'm so young. I like to think I'm pretty mature for my age. With maturity comes more responsibility and with that comes more worries. I already don't want to post this piece because it sounds so...selfish? All I am doing is complaining about my life and that is all I tend to really do in my writing. I have to make myself post it, it's raw and shows my true thoughts. But, will anyone actually think its a presentable piece? I think I am just over-analyzing everything. Yes, that's it, it's one in the morning and my brain is going a thousand miles an hour. I need to sleep.

Author's Note

I literally just typed everything out as it came to my head, no revision(-:

Reviews

[kitty blur]

Props to you for writing down all of your thoughts and posting it, even though you doubted its importance. That alone, I can respect. With that aside, I think that your piece reflected the back-and-forth feelings that come with both depression and anxiety. I liked that I was able to feel how you felt when you wrote this, even though the feeling it gave me was a bit lonely. So, I think you nailed it. I think that others will be able to relate to this just as well as I dis because we all have these feelings sometimes (although maybe not with the same severity).

My favorite line was the "this feels so... selfish?". Every time I used to post about myself, I totally felt that. It's like feeling both a little conceited and not worth it. But I overcame that by realizing that, as a writer, what can you write about besides your own experiences? Everything you could possibly write would have some of You in it whether you like it or not, especially in poetry in my opinion. You are worth the words, because they mean something to you and they will definitely mean something to someone else in the same way that they mattered to me.

If I may critique: in the second line and in a couple others, there is a comma where there should be maybe a semi-colon or just a period to break some of the run-on sentences up. Also, somewhere in the middle, there is the word 'breath' where it should be 'breathe'. Nothing else other than that, though. :)

I just want to congratulate you again on posting this when you were unsure of its relevance. It's hard to do that sometimes.

[slightly terrified]

Thank you so much!

[PhoenixDown]

Chuckles.
Could say a lot about this. But I won't as to balance out my lengthier response earlier.
I'll leave you with this..
This is something to be proud of. This raw collection of thoughts, is proof of your "goodness."
We all say "keep writing" and such. Don't ever stop writing, but if you're forced to choose between giving up writing & giving up analyzing -- give up writing.

[Richard Hoover]

This is super good it flows well but still captures that panicked feeling that anxiety brings.And the ideas twist around on each other giving a good portrayal of the mind in that dazed an confusing feeling that depression can give while growing up. All in all Its super fantastic