What a wonderful quasi-sonnet, Chris! From the evocative title to the relentlessly romantic imagery that sets up time and again, only to be smashed to smithereens, you capture the sweet burst of Love, all the more precious for its brevity!
My favorite line has to be:
"letting Venus blitzkrieg the Earth."
What an overwhelming notion! We are all powerless in the event of such an attack and rooting for "the enemy" despite our show of seeking shelter!
And despite the fact that this weekend has come to an end, and
"Monday's nails calling."
does not have the same promise of romance, there is no real sense of finality. Weekends come and go, and the opportunity to "ravish lips" may present itself again! For me, the down-to-earth feeling of the final couplet establishes that the romance was real, not imagined, and is therefore a possibilty in the future!
This was an excellent poem! I loved the imagery that it creates for the reader. I especially liked the last two lines, they seemed very fitting for the ending. Great work!
Sad how time and mediocrity bring all good things to an end. Excellent poem - one anyone who has felt those love feelings for someone can relate to, even if it was for only one day or night. Eternity is one thing we can't have.
Yes, monday crucifies doesn't it.
I found this eloquent - a bit bittersweet - with a bite to it...written with a singular force. Its hard to describe - to articulate - but you make your point so well. Its about love, but its about the real life encroachment on happiness. Maybe I'm inferring this because I hate my day job...
and the title is sublime.
I liked the middle two lines of the second verse, especially. can sympathise with the mood of the moment passing and a feeling of being left a 'barefoot' lover.
Before I read the self-notes, I had a gasp of recognition at the verses' end: I got that it was Jesus and Magdalene in the garden before the crucifixion!!! (Mondays nails!!!!)) Shivered me timbers! Could it be unconscious on the part of the writer? or just me!
Most definitely this poem carries a flow with it, and bears an almost fairy-tale touch to it.
"I ravish your lips in the midsummer breeze,
Bated breath pray, 'sweet ambrosia pour forth.'"
These lines stood out as my favorite. The description is an enchanting, the meaning of passionate love is evident, and it straight-away sinks the reader in. Very, very nice work. Keep it up.
yes, this has a dreamy, mystical quality to it - from the title to the deliver and the conclusion .... what a poetic way of saying: Tell me why I dont like Mondays! ...LOL .... love it. xxx
I'm going to tell you one thing right now - YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET AN A*S KISSING REVIEW FROM ME UNLESS YOU'VE EARNED IT!!! When I write a review, I tell it like it is. If it was great, I'll tell y.. more..