In Europa, Where the Forest Whispers

Just reminiscing of a night in Paris with my then fiance - a night I wished would never end, but unfortunately did.

 

 

Saturday in the garden, I’m counting the hours,

Gazing out upon your city’s lights.

Hand in hand, our time grows sour,

For God couldn’t give us just one eternal night.

 

Ever conscious we fade to dreams,

Letting Venus blitzkrieg the Earth.

I ravish your lips in the midsummer breeze,

Bated breath pray, “sweet ambrosia pour forth.”

 

Sunday morning, you Judas Iscariot!

Shatter my dreams DENIED, CLOSED!

Swing lower oh sweet chariot,

For there’ll be no one here to carry you home.

 

Led barefoot, without clip or seed falling,

All I hear are Monday’s nails calling. 

Reviews

[Chantal-lise Mirman]

What a wonderful quasi-sonnet, Chris! From the evocative title to the relentlessly romantic imagery that sets up time and again, only to be smashed to smithereens, you capture the sweet burst of Love, all the more precious for its brevity!

My favorite line has to be:

"letting Venus blitzkrieg the Earth."

What an overwhelming notion! We are all powerless in the event of such an attack and rooting for "the enemy" despite our show of seeking shelter!

And despite the fact that this weekend has come to an end, and

"Monday's nails calling."

does not have the same promise of romance, there is no real sense of finality. Weekends come and go, and the opportunity to "ravish lips" may present itself again! For me, the down-to-earth feeling of the final couplet establishes that the romance was real, not imagined, and is therefore a possibilty in the future!

[Shadkim]

What a lovely poem! It's a nice change and you did well with the love poem. That trip you spent with her must have been wonderful! I like the line about the midsummer breeze; it gives a sense of the weather you too frolicked in; a gentle, cool day that seems peaceful. I like the contrast with Monday, (the worst day ever) and the dreadfulness of returning to the everyday without her. Very nice! ^^

[Celtic Cat]

Well, this may be an extremely alien venture for you to take, but we'd have never known if you didn't say it. This reads as though you've been writing like this forever, it's very well put together. Sounds like your muse picked up where your writing experience left off, and again, you end up with a winner regardless. Excellent!

[Jd Young]

I love all the symbolism and mythology packed into this poem. I'm a big mythology geek and this poem feels so vintage and real. It reminds me of a William Butler Yeats kind of style. Very pristine.

Great Write!

[Crystal L. Test]

This was bittersweet and romantic at the same time. To be in the City for Lovers and to be with your love but all the time knowing it would come to an end with a screeching halt. Very eloquently done. It did have the tone of the greats...a Shakespeare or Donne. Well done.

[shel]

Sunday morning, you Judas Iscariot!
Shatter my dreams, denied and closed.

And so Im led barefoot, no clip or seed falling,
And all I hear now, are Monday's nails calling. great lines!

Time together drawing to a close -- how often we let the thought of the 'end' overshadow or spoil those last few hours together. Love the allusions here, and that last line in perfect.

[Rain]

Chris..
You captured the bitter/sweet parting. You will never forget her, because she will always be the "could have been the one," fantasy. Great piece. Rain

[Alistair Canlin]

My favourite line was: letting Venus blitzkreig the earth
This was both contradictory and ingenious. The image it creates, an army of cupids raining down on us is both sublime and chaotic. Would any of us survive? Or would we die in the attempt?

[Catala]

terrified of Mondays now... and today being Monday it hits even closer. Monday's nails. so clear and horrific an image for the lover's getaway. I love this piece Chris, thank you for sending it my way :) the rhyme scheme, in it's loose form and the words and play of phrase was refreshing, and matched the theme well. You did an excellent job

[Stacy A. Foster]

Is this someone who has been betrayed before? Almost a heaven and hell atmosphere in this...

And so Im led barefoot, no clip or seed falling,
And all I hear now, are Monday's nails calling.

Two ends of the spectrum, like being pulled out of a wondrous dream.

Very nice,
Stacy

[James Horsley]

Nicely done, and with such passion! Well structured, and capital use of the allusion.