The Song

Did anyone listen?

Sitting in front of the screen, wondering what is happening to me. Sorrow deepens, and the heart broken. Why am I deleting, every single word, I tend to write down? Is there something, I'm trying to hide? Or is it just the fragile soul of mine, trying to keep away, from the mean face?

Is there anything left in me, which worth a smile? Is there anything left in me, which worth for a look? Why am I still hiding? Why can't I stand out, and said, ' I've no regret'? Or is it the fragile soul of mine, trying to keep me away, from the sharpen arrow?

When everything is done, I shall leave, but things were never done. Just leave shadows, under the smiling face. I hope I can undo everything, and let it start again, but things hand started, and tears have been dropped, there is no one to blame, except the fragile soul of mine.

Please don't break my heart, please don't break my hope. This song has kept been sing, by my fragile soul, but who listen to it? Who really wants to listen to me? Or is it just the ugly soul, you have tried to hide from me? Or is the fragile soul, trying to keep away from truth?

My heart keeps breaking, whenever I write, the pain  is deepen, but there's something to write. To write how much I own you, to write how much I'd tried, still no one listens. Why can't I just walk away? And leave the past behind?

written in: 29-4-11 7:53

Author's Note

Did anyone tried to listen? Or is it just to pretend you did, while you still step on me? Its a diary of me, struggling to set myself free...

Reviews

[Red]

I had once made the oath of never reviewing poems and poetry alike, but I couldn't pass up reviewing this. This was deep and very interesting; I soon found myself rapt within this poem due to how I can understand the direction it is coming from. I too have troubles trying to erase what was once my past, but it seems to follow me like a chain attached to my sides, skidding along the dirty, cold ground, making my journey even more difficult. Also, I understand sometimes not wanting to leave the past behind, as if you think you could fix it somehow. I enjoyed this. Nice work and nice improvement; you'll go far in your writing no matter how heavy the chains from your past might be.
-Red

[marielondon]

This brought tears to my eyes. I felt the pain that you were expressing with your words and you did so beautifully. I enjoyed reading this and you are a great writer. Thank you so much for this incredible piece!

[J. Marc]

Keep on writing and things may become clearer to you. Til you have not yet described what you exactly feel, you feel a pain. But I think you have already been halfway. You are just learning to know yourself, to be acquainted with contradictory feelings. As long as you keep listening honestly to yourself, you will be safe!

[Kevin Horsley]

The past is exactly that, the past. It cannot be changed or altered in any way. All that can be done is to learn the lessons so the pain can be avoided or lessened the next time around.

Very good writing for one so young, if it is truth that you express then learn the lesson and move on from it. If it is a fiction based on something you have seen, heard or read then bravo...

[harley]

wow this is one of the most amazing stories by a teen ive ever read. thanks

[quinfinn]

i can feel the pain you express in this and i think you have a real talent here, because you have conveyed in words what the heart feels, and to me, that is
not so easy for many of us. may i recommend that you brush up or your syntax and your english? i am sure that what you emote would come across more refined this way and would flow more freely, giving it power and finesse. i hope you don't mind my constructive criticism, i think you have a huge talent here and would like to see you exploit it and grow. beautiful and tragic piece...

[Reese38]

Engaging writing.

[Devine Miss C]

I am amazed at the maturity of your writing considering your age. Heartbreak like this shouldnt be understood by one so young, but I can sympathise with how u feel.
Put your words to paper... there will always be here someone to listen :)

[piggy]

lovely, just lovely.

like chocolate and soft blankets

[Aurora Lynn]

It happens very often that we feel like no one listens (and perhaps no on is listening at all) and we can feel very lost. This story personifies that feeling and puts it into words. You might want to remove some of the commas, because they inturrupted the flow of the words. Other than that, I found this a very enjoyable read. Thank you for writing and thank you for entering this in my contest!
~Aurora Lynn, from 'In Too Deep'

[Sarah Morgan]

I have felt the exact same way you do now and I find myself deleting a lot of my work - don't do that! Keep your work because I've seen people review my work that I thought wasn't that good and it will be their favorite of mine. Writing is good for your soul and gets a lot of the things that is going on in your life out. I feel in this story that you seem to be afraid of rejection and hurt as a lot of us are, but we will face rejection and hurt all around us and that is when you just have to try and be strong. Those rejections and the hurts in our lives gives us the best ideas to write with. I've had a lot of horrible things happen in my life and I amaze myself that I keep going on and fighting. That's life - you have to keep fighting and fighting yourself because you can be your biggest critic. Don't doubt yourself you write wonderfully. :)