My Heart

My heart

a mess

full with feelings

sad

happy

confusing

all happening to me

sad of being laugh at

happy to have  friends

confuse about  everything

sadness is a pain

happiness is a joy

confusion is a mess

sadness more

happiness less

sad occupies my days

only friends

cheer me up

I lost the track of life

so sad

too sad

hope you won't laugh

cause that's the fact

deep in my heart

please

don't hurt me

forever since

Author's Note

That's truly what's happpening, and I haven't tell anyone, but I tell you by poems. I have no one to tell, but through poems, I don't mind.

Reviews

[Vicky Zhuang Yi-Yin]

OK, there are some errors (mostly grammatical) here and there. I'll point them out to you:
1) all happens on me ---> all happening to me (happens on me, doesn't sound right)
sad of being laugh ---> sad of being laughed at
happy of having friends ---> happy to have friends
confuse on everything ---> confused about everything

2)sad is a pain --> it should be sadness
happy is a joy ---> happiness
confuse is a mess ---> confusion

3) there are other places where this was missed out, like it should be sadness occupies, I don't know the correct grammatical terms, but when you read it, you get the feeling that it is wrong.

4) Only friends cheer me up. when you add cheers, it means something singular cheering you up.

Other than that, the fact that you are expressing your feelings in this poem means a lot, it must hurt to be laughed at, and to know that happiness < sadness (mathematical logic lol). I like how you've been able to express the feelings of sadness, happiness and confusion in it, and in the end, there is a slight dash of hope. Good job for that. Keep writing!
-Yin

[Adelia Alighieri]

What you write in your note confirms the purity of your thought.
Great lines, define the correct emotions of your state. Something many can relate to.

[Akshat♥]

u can't define love...its a super natural....i liked this poem a lot...keep writing..tc:)

[the_stoic]

why should anyone laugh at dear ? do you think our heart is any different ? it's the same .. a plethora of emotions intertwined in here .. but yeah you should learn not to let others hurt your tender heart .. keep writing !

[Angelauthor1204]

nicely done.

[Black Cat Fever]

A chaos of feelings here, mostly on the sad side. That comes through very strong in your words. It's good to get your feelings down on paper and into a poem, something that you can share.

[SimplyDisastrous]

There are quite alot of errors but I'll look past that because this sounds like a truly sad piece. I felt the sadness and confusion while reading this. Good job. Do me a favor, will you? Work on your English a bit more, wont you? Because in your writings it seems like you need some help with that. But that's not a bad thing, though. Everyone makes mistakes.

[Rupid]

Writing reflects one's state of mind and thinking. Try to adopt positive thinking in all walks of life. Vicky is very helpful in giving grammatical correction. Happiness can be very simple.