Birthday Disaster

It's your birthday

why are you crying?

Oh I know

you want to save up

your young period

but you never can

so just let it happen

cause you can't refuse

to what is happening

Author's Note

I think my poems are getting worst!
Do you think so?

Reviews

[Aven]

regarding your author's note I'm not sure poetry can get "worse". they are an expression of a state of mind, of impressions and imagination. it takes alot to write a bad poem, because at the end of the day, they will all matter, just like the overexposed photos in the family album. I will take Poetic Justice's word here, I believe this would be a disaster idd. ;)

[.]

LOL can't think of anything worse!!

[Dalebear]

I love the poem
Great stuff

[Marie Harrison]

I like your poem. That would be a disaster! Great stuff.

[Kimberly]

I'd change the last line to: because you can't refuse/what is happening.

[BlankPaige]

I'm sorry it's ben so long Cynthia. In answer to your question about whether your poems are getting worse. No! Poetry is simply a very personal way to express your thoughts and feelings. All poetry makes me think. That is always a good thing. Thnx. And please. Keep writing whatever you feel needs to be written. Its that feeling that means the most to you... and others will feel it too. I do.

[YYPSNicoletse]

This is a good poem!

[Coyote Poetry]

I believe it is the place you are in. The poem tells a story of a birthday party with bad timing of a period. Could make the day very bad. Each of us must try to get better at writing. I have been writing for 35 years and still seek to improve. A interesting poem.
Coyote

[alan peter kelly]

yes...i agree with Adelia..once we become more conscious of our want to do better...to be more self analytical...then this in itself is progress...i think perhaps the problem here is in the last two lines...if you can find a way to make them more impactful then the write will be stronger...i like the ideas here and even enjoyed the poem...yes...you can never refuse what is happening...it is biologically impossible...refusal in pointless...one can only buckle up...accept...and enjoy the ride! :)

[Adelia Alighieri]

No they're not. When a poet thinks he's getting worst, he's actually started to become more critically better.
This is a good attempt but your thought exceeds the lines.