Tricks & Me

You tell me you are in love with me

but now everything is clear

you actually hate me

you use me

hurt me

so

it is

a big mistake

please can't you go away

never ever come back again

cause it only makes me pain and sadness

You love me, I laughed, you never do, you love another girl. You love me cause you aren't sure if she loves you, but now she does, so I am useless, being threw by you. That hurt so much... I am not jealous, I am sad, I don't know how jealous feel, I only felt sad.

As your tool, I am only happy as you use me, try to act you love me, and I am happy, cause I don't know it's just a game once again, so bye my love... I kind find anyone to talk to, no one will know how I feel, they just know how to laugh, laugh at my stupidity , not knowing the real feeling of myself...

That's it, my whole life, my hope, turn to zero, even myself, have nothing to think about, cause I only have you. Here's what I only can do, write...

What can I do

without you?

Nothing

What will I think

without you

You

As you might see

you are my everything

without you

I am nothing

so why are you leaving me?

Your body doesn't

your heart does

You heart

and mine

the distance is so long

thousand of miles away

However

I wish you to come back

learn to love me

by your real heart

and one day

say

three words

I Love You

Although I wrote this, I know it's not going to tell to truth, it's just a wish..... Never Come True Wish...

Author's Note

What do you think this time?
Please review for me!
Thx

Reviews

[Dalebear]

Good job. Good write

[Aven]

I agree that this is very easy on the eye, and feels very honest when you read it. well written.

[Kimberly]

I like the literal shape of this. It's visually interesting. I like that it starts with that hourglass shape in the poem and the visual graphic.

[Rain Kissed Secret]

You have a lot of work to do to get this one going. Short sentences are good, great even, if they are used efficiently. Repetition is great and all, but only if used correctly. Try being detailed in this one, you're message was clear from the first couple of sentences, you don't need to re-state things to get us to understand, most of us get it from the first time. In my mind the message is clear, but the writing is mucky. Fix it up

[Sweets]

Great job.
I enjoyed it :)

[Akshat♥]

writing about bad times...made urself miserable...it really hurts...sad....nicely written..tc:)

[Short.Nerd]

Nice JOb

[Angelauthor1204]

nicely done.

[alan peter kelly]

Excellent structure!!! really inspirational...i love it!!! intense...passionate...endearing...and totally believable...i will get around to reading more of your work...time isn't always on my side but i do enjoy what i have seen so far...as i say...the structure here is very inventive and opened my eyes to new possibilities...thank you :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Writing about bad times and relationship is easier then real life. A very interesting story. Love make us content and sad in the same second. A excellent poem about the dance of life.
Coyote