Time

Time after time

years after years

I turned

older and older

Time

you slipped

through my fingers

not turning back

not coming back

I called

I shouted

wanting time

to came back

As time went by

I realize

a fact

time

never come back

no matter

how you

shout

scream

yell

call

it just go away

I am sad

which is a truth

for myself

not using

time

well

I spend

my childhood

doing something

meaningless

I stay in jail

for

doing something wrong

I know

I need to accept this

but just

one thing

… …

my heart

felt suck so much

I don't know

how can I

get back everything

So

all I do is

wish

hope

for tomorrow

to be better

but whenever

I close my eyes

I can see the image

the picture

of jail

feel

lonely

sad

the feeling

I receive from childhood

I wanted to change

this picture

image

to a warm one

not cool anymore

Time

you slipped

through me

when will you know

I regret for you

so much?

Author's Note

Um.. this is a poem I wrote before, but that's the first time I post it......
Do you think it is a bad poem? Cause it kept regretting in the poem, and I think it's not emotional enough, and powerful enough....
What do you think?
Thanks

Reviews

[YYPSNicoletse]

A great poem!

[Dalebear]

Good Write

[Kimberly]

This is emotional and powerful enough.

[Undying Glory]

don't worry this was good, good enough. it's amazing how you can write poems like these, especially since english isn't your first language. note that it's "I stay in jail" not "I stay at jail". great work

[alan peter kelly]

oh it's both emotional and powerful enough...i felt the pain here so in that alone (and in my mind) your job was done if that is your intention...i liked the structure and the kind off accent that i am beginning to recognise as YOU in your writing...total enjoyment...:)

[Short.Nerd]

Its a pretty good poem

[Jessica]

I loved the way you put the emotion into this poem. The description is good and flowing.I liked the line"Time, you slipped through me. When will you know I regret for you so much?"

This brought me a feeling that "I" wasted many time and indeed, I did.
I think that it's a little broken up.(you think so?)

Sorry, but I think that it has enough powerful, and emotional feeling. you know, it's fine to let the poem regret again and again.

Do you think that I'm a nutcase?
(I felt pity for the prisoners after i have read you poem. It can really make prisoners cry, my father said.)

[~Lizzy♬]

I really loved the way you put the emotion into this poem. The description is good and flowing. My favorite line was: "I wanted to change this picture, image to a warm one, not cool anymore." This brought me to an image about love being cold and evil then it brought an image about love being lovely and open. (Sorry, I am a nutcase I know. That's just what happened to me.)

Keep up the writing. You have talent. ;)

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good poem. You words create pictures of thing missed and lost.
"I wanted to change
this picture
image
to a warm one
not cool anymore"
I like the last line. It completed the poem. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[SimplyDisastrous]

This isn't my favorite for you but it's a good poem. Good job and keep writing. (: